Landed in Japan
So fucking tired right now
Ugh ugh ugh ugh yay

Final Day At Home

Final day at home
River walk, zoo time, with mom
Had a great last day

Sad to be leaving
But I won't think of it much
Not right now at least

Koi in the river
I don't think you belong here
Good luck sign perhaps?

Things will be hectic
And I might not have free time
To write a haiku

But I will haiku
Throughout my time in Japan
When I am able

This time tomorrow
I will be on a jet plane
Headed for Japan

TIGF:
-Chocolate chip pancakes and bacon
-Kindle!
-Postcard from my brother
-River walk with mom
-Zoo with mom
-Slurpee with mom
-Last home cooked dinner
-Don saying goodbye
-Finished packing
-All the love and support I've received
-Pocahontas
-Goodbye letter and necklace from mom

The Suitcase Has Closed

The suitcase has closed
With only one more day left
Till my departure

Spaced out and tired
Why has it gotten so cold?
I'm such a weakling

Checking off my list
Still can't believe I'm going
And for so long too

Last dinner with dad
Good food, and conversation
I will miss you dad!

Throughout the whole day
Full of anxious energy
Not much else to say

TIGF:
-Blankets
-Wonderful neighbors
-Painting my nails
-Mom cutting my bangs
-Getting traveler's checks
-Last dinner with dad
-Ice cream
-Getting snacks for the plane ride
-Anthony Bourdain
-One more day!
-New music

Sometimes I feel like
I don't know enough about
The people I love

It makes me really sad. And I know I can actively change that. But I haven't yet.

Almost Ready Now

Only three days left
Anxious, freaked out, excited
Hoping for the best

Visit from family
And dinner with my neighbor
Time to say goodbye

September roses
Continue to bloom with ease
Simply beautiful

Piles of clothing
Are now packed in a suitcase
Almost ready now

So very tiny
Smallest, cutest, little mouse
SO PRECIOUS AND CUTE

TIGF:
-Family members coming to say goodbye
-Almost finishing packing!
-My neighbor taking me and my mom out to eat
-So much support
-Seeing the cutest tiniest mouse ever today (which is living in my garage?)
-Being sad to leave but excited to go

Red Little Fungus

Skyped with my brother
And though it wasn't for that long
Good to see his face

Next couple of days
Are going to be hectic
And will go by fast!

One last U.S. hike
Wetlands, forest, and lakes too
Truly beautiful

Red little fungus
So small and so very cute!
Otherworldlyish

I've had the hiccups
Like four different times today
So this is a first

So fucking restless
I just want to get started
On my next journey

Something is moving
From the corner of my eye
Hallucination

TIGF:
-Amazing hikes
-Having an amazing dad
-Warm showers
-Home made lasagna
-Scrabble time with mom
-Downloading ebooks
-Skyping with brother
-Four more days!

So Ready To Go!

Only five more days
So much to do, where to start?
Running with no head

So ready to go!
Just anxious sitting around
Not much else to say

Eating with Nicole
When we spot some specimens
Nice armpit-less shirt

From out of nowhere
I have a Sweeney Todd song
Stuck in my head

TIGF:
-Some rain
-Being somewhat productive?
-Hanging with Nicole
-Five more days

Feeling So Grateful

Feeling so grateful

I have received so so much

Can only say thanks

Becoming restless

Organizing and packing

Little by little

Oh, can't wait to dance

At downtown Tokyo clubs

Already grooving 

Distant relatives

Distant as in small contact

Still good to see them

Wind through my fingers

And rays penetrating skin

Rejuvenating

Next Project Runway

Will not be watched with my mom

I'll be in Japan

Time seemed to speed up

Suddenly the week went by

Last U.S. weekend

TIGF:

-Getting slightly more organized

-Feeling better

-Lovely day

-Reading

-Yummy cupcakes

-Dinner with my dad and aunts

-Receiving gifts

-Getting a Kindle 

-Being grateful

-Having so much support 

Only One Week Left!

Only one week left!
Time to let go of this stress
And have a great time

I'm no stranger to
Being so super tired
For no reason no

Was walking that path
Into that deep, dark forest
It's time to get out

Hanging with a friend
It will be awhile till
I see him again

TIGF:
-Friends near and far
-One week left
-My mom for always trying
-Chocolate cupcakes
-Finishing that evaluation letter
-Jogging a mile
-I'M GOING TO JAPAN IN ONE WEEK

No Matter Today

What am I feeling?
At this moment I'm not sure
Scales easily tip

Am not quite there yet
The person I want to be
I hope I'll get there

It is funny how
It only takes one small thing
To screw up a day

No matter today
At least there is tomorrow
I'll keep thinking that

Quietly crying
Equally quiet escape
Moments of sadness

Feel and then let go
Can't let these things keep me down
Or I'll become lost

TIGF:
-Yummy yummy fruit
-Some contact with my sister
-Sitting outside reading in the sun
-Finishing a book
-Having a great neighbor

BBQ Hungry

Just another day
Studied Kanji for a bit
Did some laundry too

BBQ Hungry
Brisket, pulled pork, and much more
Bourdain I'm jealous

Trying to control
Irrational emotions
Time to meditate

A sip of brandy
That burn, it's been awhile
Build up tolerance

TIGF:
-Nice walks
-Nice showers
-Nice trail mix
-Doing some things
-Music
-Food
-Etc.

Fall's Whispering Winds

Fall's whispering winds
What stories are they telling
We may never know

Indian pow-wow
Full of history and yet
It's a little sad

A certain smell and
The crunch of leaves that signals
Summer's end begins

Before I know it
I begin to lose myself
Hiking the forest

Why do you say things
That are so ridiculous
Really, you think that?

TIGF:
-Cute dogs
-Pow-wows
-Hiking
-The beginning of fall
-And that certain fall smell
-Buying my host family gifts
-Getting to eat Vietnamese food before I go

A Mood Swinging Day

I wish I could see
Both my siblings one more time
Before I'm abroad

Going through old things
Brings up memories that have
Been long forgotten

A mood swinging day
A mixture of many things
Just makes me tired

Mac n Cheese dinner
Oh that processed cheese flavor
Really hit the spot

TIGF:
-Jogging farthest I have
-Getting some things done
-Leftovers
-Old pictures
-Discovering things I forgot I had
-Watching Rushmore

Cheesecake for Dessert

At last, left my house
Lunch with my aunt and uncle
Cheesecake for dessert

Humid and hot days
Make me tired and lazy
Didn't do that much

Chance to go party
Just wasn't up for it though
A hermit at heart

Astrology signs
Trying to figure out moon
Two different answers

 Time's ticking away
And there are things I should do
That aren't getting done

This is becoming
A blog about food I eat
It is good food though

TIGF:
-Lunch with my aunt and uncle
-Card and money from my aunt and uncle
-Learning things about family I didn't know
-Looking at my baby book
-Rocky Road cheesecake
-Hummus and pita
-My chipmunk pal
-Air conditioning
-Getting a foot massage

One More Hermit Day

One more hermit day
Yeah, mixed feelings about that
Waiting for the change

A pain in my mouth
And out comes a bloody tooth
It almost felt real

Haikus getting worse?
Well at least someone out there
Must see the humor

Stability's friend
From time to time however
I urge for that spice

Trying to change things
Have a positive mindset
It is not easy

Things I must deal with
But there is not enough time
So I'll push it down

Like being alone
But there needs to be balance
Need a social life

It came from nowhere
Like a storm without warning
Close to a break down

TIGF:
-Jogging again
-My active imagination
-Having a slight tan
-Not breaking down
-Water and other liquids
-Everything bagels
-Ripe peaches
-Cute birds
-My chipmunk
-Jasmine tea and honey
-Getting a back massage

Cats in a Window

The current countdown:
I have only two weeks left
Woah, that is crazy

These past couple days
I've watched so much on Netflix
Free time will be missed

To the future me
I know you will shine brighter
Than I do right now

Bright full moon hanging
Against a purple back-drop
A beautiful scene

The sun's rays bathe me
As I sit in my backyard
Relaxing moment

Not much accomplished
But that is okay with me
Lazy is the norm

I want to be strong
So that I can be bad-ass
And other stuff too

I try to explain
But I don't think you listen
To what makes me me

Cats in a window
Sitting still like a statue
Watch the world go by

TIGF:
-Brie cheese and bread
-Redbox movies
-Nice walks
-Beautiful days
-Good music
-Raspberry chocolate ice-cream
-Light periods
-Netflix movies that keep making me cry
-Only 2 weeks left
-Alone time
-Having three different types of peach tea for some reason...
-Cats in a window
-Remembering dreams from the night before that you forgot you had

So I Eat A Lot

Getting organized
With just about two weeks left
Excited, freaked out

Watching X-Files
From the corner of my eye
Mouse in the kitchen
(it was so cute so I didn't say anything to my friend whose house I was at...lol)

A late August day
Stretch my legs out in the sun
Re-energizing

So I eat a lot
But hey, I do exercise
I have no regrets

A conversation
Concerning if ghosts exist
I want to believe

TIGF:
-Bread and cheese
-Getting organized/packed
-Making sun tea
-Sitting in the sun
-Bird watching
-Soba noodles
-X-Files

As Green Turns to Red

As green turns to red
And the wind becomes colder
My time here is up

Shoe shopping with mom
Nice to spend time together
When my mood is good

600 page views
I guess that is pretty cool
Thanks for stopping by!

As hard as it is
For me to open those doors
I want to for you (who I haven't met yet...lol)

I want more muscle
So I can be lean and strong
And defend myself (ya know, defend myself in all of those fights I get into haha)

To my future self
Look back on these moments and
See how far you've come


TIGF:
-Yummy cheeses
-Evening walks
-Libraries
-Find a blazer that is cute and looks good on me
-Sitting and relaxing in my backyard

So the Other Day

Hell yes, finally!
I get to do some shopping!
Didn't get much though

So the other day
While I was watering plants
Found an army guy

Eating my dinner
And watching the bird feeder
As the rain falls down

You say my boobs sag
Even when I wear a bra
I don't care, fuck you

That time of the month
When anything makes me cry
Womanhood's worst part

TIGF:
-Chocolate chip pancakes
-Shopping
-Positive energy
-Hummus
-New nail polish
-tampons

I Will Be Alright

This may not be fate
But a flow exists I think
Not coincidence

Not sure what to say
So instead of aimless words
I'll remain quiet

I'm starting to have
Good thoughts for the near future
That I hope remain

I am not sure if
The people that surround me
Get lost in dreams too

What I do know is
That I want to be happy
No matter what else

As long as I feel
That emotion at some times
I will be alright

Much time spent alone
Though cherished and transforming
Ready for what's next

These haiku may seem
Like they aren't worth all that much
They mean much to me

Today I'm Grateful For:
-Decent movies
-And good movies too
-Good positive songs
-Silly Korean music videos
-Looking forward to the future
-Cold corn

Secluded Summer

Trying to run when
My legs don't really want to
Is quite the challenge

Premenstrual syndrome
Irritable and tired
Ugh, this is the worst

Although it is weird
Can't stop rubbing stomach
Gaining some muscle

Anxious to get ready
Though a bit too soon to start
Restless, restless yes

Secluded summer
Nice but strange at the same time
Not used to people

Today I'm Grateful For:
-Cereal
-Spiders that aren't in my house
-Finishing the not so horrible but not good book
-Coffee

Noodle Alley Night

Skyping yet again
Though this is a nice surprise
Jake you are crazy!

Mussaman curry
GOD I LOVE FOOD SO SO GOOD
Noodle Alley night

Burning up my thighs
Biking with a flat tire
No, not very fun

I guess in some ways
I am a bit more modest
Not ashamed at all

Today I'm Grateful For:
-Dried Cranberries
-Buying The Hobbit
-Almost finishing the not good not horrible book I'm reading
-Skyping with a slight soul mate
-Thai food
-Thai iced tea
-Getting most of the things off of my to buy list for Japan
-Selling old dvds and games and getting 40 bucks for it!
-Project runway
-Peaches
-Good moods
(I do this to keep positive, you know?)

Here is a pic of the Lembas bread I made~

And Then I'll Be Gone

Skyping with Becky
Talked for at least two hours
Was a lot of fun

Arguing, a bang
Though it was only a dream
4:50am

Hiking in the woods
There is so much I could say
I'll always love it

Stye under my eye
Where the fuck did you come from
Please just go away

And the day went fast
And so will the next three weeks
And the I'll be gone

TIGF:
-Lembas bread
-Fruit
-Cereal with silk milk
-Humus
-Always good food
-Hiking
-Sunny days
-Nice breezes
-Not so good books which aren't so horrible but not so good...
-Skyping with a friend

One Bite is Enough

One bite is enough
But no Legolas you lied
Ate three lembas bread

Running with the wind
And during such a short
Many emotions

Somehow my stomach
Or maybe my intestines
Aren't feeling too good

TIGF:
-Spending time with a friend
-Finishing a book
-Baking (lembas bread)
-Vanilla soy milk
-My hair looking gorgeous

Need to Get Out More

Banking in Japan
Exchange rates so expensive
Wish I had money

Just annoyed all day
Restless and irritable
Need to get out more

Friends bail yet again
At least I have my chipmunk
Better than a friend

TIGF:
-Tabatha's Salon Takeover
-Blankets
-Jogging
-Afternoon showers
-Trying to study
-Finding out that the bagels I thought were just plain are actually blueberry! (what an exciting life I lead!)

So I hate it when
I forget to post haiku
Oh well oh well oh

Food, Sleep, and Weather

A perfect feeling
I could do this for hours
Just sitting outside

Lazy lazy day
I didn't even work out
My stomach hurt though!

Counting down the days
Really excited, oh yes
Cannot wait for this

Dinner with my dad
Mediterranean food
Tasty! oh so good

Food, sleep, and weather
Three things that affect my mood
No matter what, truth

When I reach that point
Where I really need to eat
I feel like crying

Random bruise on arm
How the hell did you get there?
Super clumsy me

TIGF:
-Shows about kittens and puppies
-Cheap but good fingernail polish
-Cool breeze, warm sun fresh days
-Being lazy
-Getting dinner with my dad
-Blueberry cheesecake
-Good hair days

Putting Some Things Off

Putting some things off
Not like that is new at all
Forever lazy

I sleep nine hours
And almost every night
So I'm tired why?

Pretty crazy dreams
Like where does this stuff come from?
Can't even explain

Cool afternoon breeze
I sit and inhale slowly
Refreshing, healing

Freshly shaven legs
My hands travel up and down
So smooth to the touch

Waiting for a call
Not from a boyfriend, yeah right
Somewhat pathetic

Dream party:
I am in a bedroom with two beds about to go to bed. There is someone else in the room with me, a roommate? Can't remember if male or female or someone I know in real life, but seemed familiar in dream. I noticed there were these round black bugs on the wall as I'm getting into bed to sleep. I think I called them water bugs in my dream? I try to flick one off the wall while I'm lying in bed but I keep missing. Then I think someone comes to the house/calls our house to let us know we have to get ready to go save some kids from a kidnapper or something.
I'm in a car with some people and we end up where the kidnappers are? There is a field and a tree and one of the ladies, sitting by the tree, has a kid in a blanket or something. I or someone puts a gun to her head and kills her? I can't remember but we save whoever we were trying to save I guess. Next I'm in the back of the car with people I know from real life L and E who both have food in their laps, L fortune cookie things. I'm holding onto a baby pig in my lap wrapped in a blanket, I guess we saved him and I know the pig is actually a person and Korean like L. I'm feeding the pig lettuce or something, idk, but I'm glad we saved him.
Fastforward to future? I think. I try to get into somewhere but my access is denied. I put my hands up meaning no harm, I think I knew that would probably happen. I am taken into a room by Tenzin?, for LOK, and he says something about me needing to pay. Bald guy comes in room, and I think I'm dating him also he kinda looks like Bruce Willis?, and says he can pay for me but Tenzin says it has to be me. I put a card into a machine that looks like a copier to try and get money.
Then I guess we are inside my subconscious in the dream. There is a blue sky with white clouds and a town? and some cargo crates suspended in air. The kidnapper lady that was killed tries to tell the bald guy, who is now Aang, that I am evil or something like that. I tell him he is lying. Then a blackish wind/tornado heads towards the cargo crates and Aang goes to protect them using airbending, since I guess secrets or something special are inside the crates. Then I woke up?
WTF BRAIN.

TIGF:
-Fresh breezes
-Controlling anger kinda
-Yummy free samples
-Ghost Adventures
-New music
-Reading
-Crazy interesting dreams
-Dat feel of freshly shaven legs. So smooth

Manos, Hands of Fate

Manos, hands of fate
It's on the big screen tonight
So so excited

UPDATE:

Manos was awesome
And I am really tired
Today was okay

TIGF:
-Rain
-My chipmunk
-Having some alone time to think
-Hanging with friends
-Seeing an awesome movie/live rifftrax

Free Samples in the Mail!

Time to meditate
Weird images, sensations
Overall calming

Free samples in mail!
I can't think of what to write
It was yummy though

Ready to move on
At the same time however
I like standing still

Somehow they enter
Through doors or windows maybe
Moths are in my room

TIGF:
-Refreshing walks
-Having some alone time
-Meditating
-Plums and other fruits
-A good book
-Free samples
-That warm feeling after you drink something that is warm...
-Being active
-Having time to waste

I Have Discovered

I have discovered:
The more boring my days are
Shittier haiku

Money, money, oh
If I had some more money
I wouldn't be poor

Got out PS2
Started playing Persona
Time waster, but fun!

Cupcakes my mom makes
Chocolate peanut butter
They are delicious

Restlessness building
Shouldn't I be doing more?
But what do I want?

TIGF:
-Working out
-Still having my old tv and ps2
-Chocolate peanut butter cupcakes
-Having time to waste on tumblr
-Fresh yummy cantaloupe
-Interesting and odd dreams
-Finding a soldier guy by my plants

Getting Excited!

Many days have passed
Things happened and things did not
Internal summer

Getting excited!
It's less than a month away
Heading for Japan

A host family dream
I hope we get along well
I really need that

Jogged a full mile!
I have improved much since May
Let's keep it up me!

Drip, drip, water drops
A constant, calming patter
Puts my mind at ease

TIGF:
-Cool dreams
-Jogging a mile (and not caring that I looked like an idiot with semi winter clothes on lol)
-Finishing a book
-Finishing Avatar ;_;
-My growing morning glories
-Old video games
-Teal pants
-Peanut butter chocolate cupcakes
-BBQ pork
-Rainy days
-Lost in Translation
-Finding out a fellow JS member will be on my flight!

Just Another Day

Just another day
Although I love days like this
Peaceful, relaxing

About to finish
Watching all of Avatar!
So this is all now

TIGF:
-River walks
-One month left
-Star gazing last night
-Buying things off my list to get
-Yummy melon
-Chipmunk buddy
-My parents
-Meditating
-Having a good workout

But I'm Posting Now!

Becoming social
Though we just played PS3
Was good to get out

Watched meteors fall
So didn't post yesterday
But I'm posting now!

X-files, What a Good Time

Hair cut super short
More volume and curly curls
I think it is cute

Delicious toppings
And delicious flavors too
Frozen yogurt yum
(I've had way too many desserts in the past two days...)

I had set a goal
Step by step I reached for it
Accomplished today!

So good to see you
X-files, what a good time
You've been a good friend

TIGF:
-Setting a goal and reaching it
-Getting a great hair cut
-Pizza
-Hanging out with a friend
-Free frozen yogurt WHICH WAS DELICIOUS
-X-files
-Joking with a friend

Food, Glorious Food

Dinner with some friends
Finally I can dress up!
It's nice to get out

Four different desserts
So much for healthy eating
Too good to resist

Gray and rainy days
Do not bother me at all
Strangely soothing days

One more day closer
Though it still doesn't seem real
Like time has frozen

Food, glorious food
What would I do without you?
Gluttonous habits

Rain splattered windows
And awkward conversations
This has become hard

TIGF:
-Rainy days
-Food
-Television
-Cute clothes
-Free dessert
-Laughing with friends
-Project Runway
-Getting out of my house

Late Night Post

The words that you said
I heard but can't remember
The things that we did
I did but it's all a blur
Promises we made
Have become long forgotten
I'll still smile though

Hey, Thanks For Reading!

Hey, thanks for reading!
Whoever and wherever
Amusing I hope

Rings and necklaces
Old fashion broaches as well
A jewelry exchange

As I walked the path
A mass of black flew past me
Mating butterflies

One, no two, no three!
Three raccoons gobbling seeds
Leaving none for birds

Sometimes when you're near
No reason to be angry
Yet I really am

TIGF:
-Hiking with my dad
-Mating butterflies
-Water
-Birds
-Humming birds
-Jewelry
-Peach jello
-Smell of rain
-Thin bagels
-Bi Bim Bop

Slowly Step by Step

Slowly step by step
I try to do what I can
For now its enough

Soy sauce, sriracha
Don't forget the brown sugar
A delicious sauce

Focus on breathing
Clear my mind of useless thoughts
Might do me some good

Summer went by fast
And soon I'll be in Japan
Holy shit, scary

TIGF:
-My mom braiding my hair
-My to buy list getting smaller
-Cute outfits
-Jogging my fastest mile
-Smoothies
-My growing plants

Impenetrable

Impenetrable
These abrupt walls that I face
Only make me sad

Words that should be said
Never quite escape my lips
And remain unsaid

Unproductive days
Somewhat content to stay still
But no, not always

Where have the days gone
Slipped unnoticed through my grasp
And now I am here

TIGF:

-Chocolate milk

-Starry skies

-Sound of music

-Fresh days

-The body I have now

-RHCP

-Plums

-Silly shows on Bravo

-Daydreams 

Rock 'n Roll Indeed

The rain pelted down
But that didn't phase the crowd
Rock 'n roll indeed

In my dreams last night
I did the splits no problem
My dreams make no sense

A cool summer breeze
Time to open my window
And clean up my room

Counting down the days
Still has not hit me yet
But oh man it will

TIGF:
-Styx concert fun (yesterday)
-Plums
-Dish soap
-Having a clean room
-Getting laundry done
-Yummy dinner made by my mom

Tired and Sunburn

Was a great great day
Then my mom blew up on me
Now I'm just upset

Tired and sunburned
And you won't give me more beer?
Get out of my room

TIGF:
-Trains to Chicago
-Star Wars theme starting to play upon entering Millennium Park
-Subway
-Water
-Kayaking
-Finding a duffle bag maybe?
-Yakiniku
-Japanese beer

Today I'm Pissed Off About
-My mom yelling at me when I just asked a simple question, not to be mean or condescending or whatever the fuck reason she thinks I asked it, because I want her to get a fucking job.
-The heat in Chicago and girl(s) who constantly complain

I keep wanting friends to be something they're not. Am I just not appreciating them, do I have too high of standards, or am I settling?

Best Friend Visiting

Best friend visiting
Overall a good good day
What a shit haiku (haha)

Maybe I shouldn't
But the words you said were sweet
So just friends, okay?

TIGF:
-Prescription sunglasses
-Starbucks
-Dad giving me cash
-Cake from neighbor
-Kiwi
-Friend coming to visit
-Soba noodles and steak
-Bubble Tea
-Wine and Trueblood
-Love from my chipmunk

Pork Chop, Egg, and Rice

Much better today
Jogging, shopping, and good food
This was much needed

Cute hungry chipmunk
I gave you so many nuts!
You're cute, it's okay

Waseda courses
Such a very random list
Oh, what should I take?

Pork chop, egg, and rice
One of my best meals ever
Vietnamese food

I really need to
Catch up on my Japanese
Always tomorrow!

Carry-on duffle
Either expensive or big
Elusive item

TIGF:
-Jogging my fastest mile
-Banana smoothie
-Finishing visa shit
-Getting new glasses
-Yummy Vietnamese food
-My chipmunk for still being alive
-Dove chocolate bars
-Having a good day
-Getting to see a friend tomorrow
-Everything
-Korean hip hop rap

Enough is Enough

Mood swings, back and forth
I wish I had more control
This is exhausting
(I blame biology)

Wanting something more
Causing dissatisfaction
Need to try harder

I keep thinking that
The future brings better things
I hope that I'm right

With ease I give up
Wallowing in self pity
 I hate being weak

Enough is enough
So tired of such feelings
Throw them all away!

God days like this just ugh. I need to keep reminding myself that I am more than this.

TIGF:
-My aunt for owning six cats
-Getting to pet those cats
-Pretty flowers
-For still keeping things together (kinda)
-For my legs not being so sore today

Sore Legs, Tangled Mind

A repeating buzz
Leave me to my weird dreams please!
Early wake up call

Sore legs, tangled mind
Another day passes, yet
Have I really grown

 The things that I want
I hope that I can grab them
With my own two hands


TIGF:
-Falling back asleep after stupid loud grounds keepers waking me up at 7:30
-Food
-Jazz
-Finding old jewelry
-My chipmunk being alive
-Having time to paint my nails

Finally Some Energy!

Walked, cleaned, and laundry
Finally some energy!
I'm hoping it lasts

TIGF:
-Yummy cupcakes
-Blue corn chips
-The smell of oolong tea
-That washing dishes is relaxing
-Texts from my brother
-Finding my old Catcher in the Rye book
-My mom for driving me to get tampons
-Finally having some energy

Dahlia Flowers

Dahlia flowers
Buzzing bugs and wildlife
My soul feels refreshed

Nature is magic
Seriously when I'm there
A weight is lifted

TIGF:
-Pretty flowers
-Nature walks
-Sun screen
-Yummy Vietnamese food
-That my chipmunk is still alive
-OLYMPICS
-For finally having a good day

I'm Reaching the Point

I'm reaching the point
Where opening up seems hard
With anybody

Sometimes it seems like
You just want to hear your voice
So I'll just listen

Hung out with a friend
And although the time was well
It was straining too

Can't express with words
Such deep rooted emotions
Maybe for the best

Seriously, I don't understand it. Do people just see me as someone easy to talk to? Easy to open up to? Or just a blob, something vacant they can talk to? Reveal all that built up flow of words. Or maybe I'm not aggressive enough to hold my ground. To not stop you from interrupting me or from saying anything at all. Maybe it's not necessarily a bad thing, that when I talk to most people 80-90% of the conversation is them. Maybe it's a good thing that people can talk to me. But when that happens my thoughts start to turn inward and gradually become harder to express, to put into words. So that when it is my turn to talk, or someone asks me something, I can't adequately respond. Some days I feel like I'm drifting further and further away...I don't know...maybe I'm just tired. I wish the good days would start to outweigh the mediocre or not so good ones though...

Anywayyyy Today I'm Grateful For:
-When I push myself
-Pressing flowers
-Afternoon rain
-Seeing old friends
-Eating yummy food
-Sleep

I think I'm having one of those I'm not so found of people moments. Ms. Bad Mood today...I get by on knowing this will pass.

Why Am I Tired?

Why am I tired?
I eat right, sleep, exercise
This doesn't make sense

Big, huge Tokyo
An overwhelming labyrinth
It might kill my soul (still excited to go though!)

My old hometown friends
Is that too strong a word now?
What happened to us?

Occupied Japan
A ragged rummage sale plate
Was made long ago

TIGF:
-Used book stores
-Rummage sales
-Playing cribbage with the neighbor
-Watching Project Runway with my mom
-Food stamps
-Nice toilet paper
-Thunder storms (though they could last longer)
-My dad for always paying
-Cute sweaters
-Getting visa stuff finally

Left My House Today

Left my house today
Wow, what a sad thing to note
Still trying my best

First Willow viewing
A boring and weird movie
And now I'm tired

Keep pushing myself
Because I am more than this
I hope I don't break

The person I need
Will help me grow for the better
And stay by my side
(among other things haha)

TIGF:
-Not giving up even when I have no motivation to run
-My friend's animals
-Saving that moth from being killed
-Yummy cereal
-BBQ chicken sandwiches
-Cat pictures online (especially when they have Nick Cage's face)
-My plants
-My neighbor

Chipmunk Acquaintance

Chipmunk acquaintance
Hiding from the heat above
I've missed feeding you

Another day gone
There wasn't much worth notice
Still fighting uphill

Waiting for Japan
But if I'm being honest
The meaning has changed

Healthy, lean, and fit
My goal is to someday have
That perfect body

Weeks without a word
But now a sudden message?
Just let me forget

TIGF:
-My youth
-That I haven't completely given up yet
-Texting friends
-Libraries
-Tea
-Bagels
-Internet
-Quick read books
-My great brother for letting me use his Netflix and for still paying for it even though he doesn't use it

An Unsure Future

An unsure future
What is it I really want?
Still figuring out

Actually I know
Things I want in the future
Unattainable

Restless thoughts and mind
Wanting to be calm and cool
Wanting to evolve

PMSing sucks
I should go to a doctor
To figure it out

Sometimes I walk down
That dark path always within 
My slight depression

Trying to be strong
Trying to fight those compulsions
Wanting happiness

lol what's up with those white lines?
also i forgot my TIGF :(

Saw Batman Today

Saw Batman today
Other than that feeling blah
Need to get on track

TIGFT:
-Cloudy days
-Cupcakes and strawberries
-Everything bagels
-Movies

Another Styx Show

Another Styx show
Get to hang with a rock star
It never gets old

TIGFT:
-Friends I don't see very often
-Going to my 4th Styx concert this summer
-Sheep
-Books
-Sleep

A Short Vacation

A short vacation
Swimming, hiking, and Styx show
Nice to be home though

Acted like a brat
I wish I could say sorry
Wish I was mature

When was the last time
We had a sincere catch up?
Made me cry today

Things I'm Grateful for Today:
-Michigan cherries
-Road trips
-My dad for spoiling me
-My mom for taking care of me
-Jogging
-My plants surviving the heat
-My old Zune
-Local eateries
-That coming home feeling

Taking things one step at a time here. Though no matter which direction I'm going, I just hope that I don't end up going backwards.
I need to remind myself that things take time.

A Helpless Feeling

A helpless feeling
Super bad PMSing?
Ugh emotions ugh

Things I'm Grateful for Today:
-Good stories
-Calming down
-Netflix

Trying to Contain

Trying to contain
Unreasonable remarks
That swell with anger

Still a far way from
The person I want to be
Though I won't stop trying

Things I'm Grateful for Today:
-Books/Libraries
-Netflix
-Free food
-Tai Chi
-My mom
-Aloe drink
-Tea
-Air conditioning

Got a Suitcase Now

Got a suitcase now
And less than two months remain
It doesn't seem real

Things I'm Grateful For Today:
-Tai Chi
-Thai food
-Selling old clothes
-Evening walks
-Nail polish
-Interesting dreams
-Korean television

Went to a Wedding

Went to a wedding
Heart-warming love filled glances
Seems foreign to me

Things I'm Grateful for Today:
-Bike rides
-Thunder storms
-Dancing with relatives
-Getting muscles
-Ice cream

It's so weird. I used to be super great friends with a lot of different people, but now I don't even talk to them. Not out of hatred or dislike or anything, we've just drifted I guess. It's almost as if I was a different person back then. I don't really feel anything towards them now. Is that normal? lol.

Oh Soba Noodles

Oh soba noodles
Jesus Christ so delicious
Picture perfect meal


Things I'm Grateful About Today:
-Thrifting with old friends
-Pizza shirt
-My backyard
-New mug
-Tea
-Soba noodles
-Jazz
-Feeling great after a run

Sometimes I get the urge to write about something so I do:

For her they were more than just liquid holders. Each mug she collected held a special place in her heart, which may sound silly, but the mugs she had were meaningful. Occasionally while browsing through thrift and second hand shops specific mugs would catch her attention. Sure there were mugs that looked appealing and that she liked. The mugs she bought from such places, however, were never those types of mugs. She would only buy the mugs that instantly stood out to her, that sweetly called her name. Why these mugs were so desirable to her she did not know. The innate qualities that made those special mugs so different from ordinary mugs was something that was indiscernible to the eye. Yet nonetheless, such mugs always caught her attention. It was not only the aura of these mugs that distinguished them from others, but the feeling they created when used. Whether they were used for tea, coffee, or juice, these mugs would create a peaceful, content, yet subtlety exciting feeling within her very being each time she drank from them. Sometimes such feelings were stronger than other times, yet the feeling was always present. For some unknown reason she had a connection with those types of mugs. A connection that she alone knew of.   

Dry Grass Drenched in Orange

No matter how hard
I do my best day by day
Like I always do

Dry grass drenched in orange
Baby bunnies scuttling
Evening stroll with mom

Today I'm Thankful For:
-Eye doctors
-My dad
-My mom
-Smoothies
-Sandwiches

Though Not Much is New

I haven't been busy but
I kept forgetting haiku
Though not much is new

On some days it takes
More effort than usual
Not to be depressed

I am so used to
Some people bailing on plans
Not even bothered

But anyway, things that made me happy today:
-Birds in my backyard
-Ice cream
-Music
-Finished a book

The Merciless Sun

The merciless sun
Unleashed its horrible heat for days
Time to cool down now

Nothing much to say
Uneventful but okay
Made pad thai today

A Hike in the Woods

Weeks keep going by
Though the lines between them fade
I don't really mind

A hike in the woods
My sweat covered collarbone
Reflects the sun's rays

Stuck Inside Myself

Stuck inside myself
Different day, different person
Or something like that

Without a warning
Easier than expected
Those feelings faded

What's inside my mind
And what is on the outside
Are not matching up

Hot, Humid, Windy

Hot, humid, windy
One foot before the other
An afternoon jog

With endless blue skies
And the smell of sprinklers too
So summer days go

Why Can't I Find You?

Why can't I find you?
Hand made camera cover
Lost to the abyss

Trying to be strong

Trying to be strong
But when I least expect it
I start missing you

Summer Days Begin

Summer days begin
And like the sprouts gaining green
I'm sure I'll grow too

Yesterday I Made

Yesterday I made

A cover for my Ipod

Oh boy it's summer

Never in My Life

Never in my life
Have I been this overjoyed
For my period

Days Keep Passing By

Days keep passing by
One step closer to the end
To a sad goodbye

RA Haiku

So I was an RA this year. And as part of our final evaluation, my supervisor wanted us to do something creative which reflected on our RA experience. So of course I wrote haiku.

First day of training
Getting to know some RAs
Sense of excitement

Having my own room
Is the best thing in the world
Perks of an RA

The clock keeps ticking
Will this talking never end?
Training is too long

Heading down river
On a canoe with Sarah
Super super fun

First bulletin board
Got vandalized so quickly
I actually cried

Some nice residents
But Wellness is a bit weird
Interesting people

Outside chalk party
Creativity unleashed
First program success

Drunk girl in bathroom
Oh god, what do I do now?
My first incident

Time for staff meeting
Fellow area staffers:
You are all awesome

Pacing through the halls
I always enjoyed our talks
Interesting Max

My dear residents
Why do you never clean up?
It is not that hard!

4 in the morning
Asthma attacks resident
Scariest moment

My good friend Erin
I'll miss your awesome doodles
Glad we became friends

Back for winter fun
Just kidding, training's boring
Too early, too cold

Homework, friends, duty
Trying to balance all three
Sure is fucking hard

Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock
Jong Min just leave me alone
Stop getting locked out

If I see one more
Toilet filled with gross feces
I might go crazy

2am nerf guns
Are you serious right now?!
Quiet hours please!

Never in my life
Have I been this exhausted
I just want to sleep

1:1 meetings
All sorts of crazy topics
Chatting with Cindy

Being an RA
Gave me an epiphany:
I'm pretty selfish

Because by the end
I lost my motivation
Waiting for Japan

I have learned this year
That I am a long way from
Really growing up

Looking back now though
I'm glad I was an RA
Made fond memories

Energy? What's That

Energy? What's that
Never been this exhausted
But that's fine I guess

All these emotions
Who knows what I am feeling
I hope I'm happy

Days go by too fast
I don't want the day to come
When we say goodbye

Slowly Setting Sun

Slowly setting sun
Another day has left us
Though not much has changed

Gone without a word
Lost beyond the horizon
Far beyond my reach

So Tired Lately

So tired lately
Too tired to write haiku
Need some more sleep now

Perfect Scenery

Unwanted feelings
Feelings I thought were long gone
Remain underneath

A grey colored sky
And a dampness in the air
Perfect scenery

Constant Annoyance

Constant annoyance
Red lines that won't disappear
A week full of stress

This Self Confidence

This self confidence
I feel like I should have more
Since others see it

I think I really need to work on seeing myself in a more positive light. I don't want to be arrogant so I'm scared to feel that way about myself. I need to improve my self confidence!

I've also recently realized that I do enjoy doing my best and that I do enjoy the praise I get from it (I mean the last one there is a little obvious but whatever).

Some Strange Emotions

Summer's almost here
If I can get through these weeks
Then I will be free

Some strange emotions
Not feeling like a person
I think I'm just weird

Looking at the Sky

Looking at the sky
Hey moon it's just you and me
Tonight all alone

Too unsure to care
But wanting for something new
Without any effort

What Are You Saying?

What are you saying?
Why did I imprint your heart
I don't understand

Don't Know Where I Stand

Don't know where I stand
The world keeps moving by me
And I can't catch up

Invisible Heart

Invisible heart
Unaware of your pounding
And submerged feelings

Budding Leaves Appear

Budding leaves appear
And days start to grow longer
Spring time surrounds us

Beautiful Morning

Beautiful morning
Unsatisfactory shower
Interrupted by wasps
(not a haiku really but those wasps were really scary)

Solitary wasp
Resting on the bathroom wall
Slowly loosing strength

Only on my legs
These goddamn mosquito bikes
Will not stop itching

80 Degrees Out

80 degrees out
I don't want to do this, no
Let me play outside

Sitting in the shade
Then there was a coconut
So hard to open

Received a phone call
Oh, an interview you say?
Please call me in May!

As You Look Away

As you look away
I can't help but pity you
Please grow up some day

Winter's summer day
Unexpected but still loved
I'm fully refreshed

What are you thinking?
You are wearing a sweater
Though it's really hot

Bare shoulders, short dress
Laughs escaping young pink lips
Spring time has arrived

Oh hello there me
With a new haircut and dress
Lookin' good today!

Took a Nice Week Off

Took a nice week off
And not much really happened
Though my bangs are cute

Who Knows the Next Time We'll Meet

A tear-filled good bye
Who knows the next time we'll meet
I'll miss you brother

Haiku Hiatus

Back home once again
And with so much left to do
Haiku hiatus

What Am I Doing?

What am I doing?
Some days I really don't know
I don't know at all

I don't like people
Because I can't understand
What they are thinking

Liked by everyone
I like to think that I was
At least at one point

Overwhelming Weight

Never-ending work
I do not want to be crushed
Overwhelming weight

Uncertain future
Want to live out a story
Instead of trying

Not really that smart
Even though I wish to be
High expectations

This Fucking Project

This fucking project
Is making my brain explode
Ruining my day

So many Russians
Apparently read my blog
Okay lol

Sorry About That

In for a long week
Haiku getting shittier
Sorry about that

These feelings again
Why do I still think of you (when you never thought of me)
When there is no point

Comforting presence
I want to be held by you
But I won't go there

Funny How Hearts Change

How can a person
Eat 30 chicken nuggets
30 all at once

I cared about you
But like the wind care has passed
Funny how hearts change

February Recap

Since I'm procrastinating tonight, I decided to go back and read some of my previous haiku. Since I'm too lazy to go all the way back to when I started, for now, I only reread all of my posts in February. And I decided I wanted to repost some of my favorite shitty haiku! Enjoy~

Untouchable world
Something deep inside her grows
That cannot be stopped

Just wanted yogurt
But no my zipper got stuck
Well thank god for knives

Slowly crawling doubts
Come when I least expect it
Widening the hole

Irreplaceable
Those feelings that are now gone
Dissolved over time

Kamikaze birds
Swiftly flying through the sky
Will not return home

Calmly passing time
She paints her nails on Friday
A sea green color

It kept on growing
And for some reason I cried
Alone in my room

Flirtatious nature
But anything serious
She cannot handle

As rain gently falls
She brings the cup to her mouth
And slowly sips tea

Quietly he went
Slipped into oblivion
Never to return

Best finest surgeon
Quickly please before it spreads
Come cut me open

Oh ho my love life
Is like a neglected plant
Shriveling away

Keep Pushing Harder

Keep pushing harder
Even after cracks have formed
There's no time to stop

When will your hand find
(Because i'm sick of waiting)
Its way into mine?

A thousand deep sighs
Could not express my yearning
For hopes out of reach

I wish I could truly fall in love~

Till the End of Time

Till the end of time
I just want to be lazy
If only I could

A Horrible Thing

I know what it's like
To be an insomniac
A horrible thing

Drifting through the sky
It's only a paper moon
Not if you love me

Sun Shining Warm Day

Sun shining warm day
Finally got some fresh air
Relaxing and nice

Lovely spider plant
Sitting next to the window
You grow up alone

Oh ho my love life
Is like a neglected plant
Shriveling away

Had a Dream Last Night

Had a dream last night
Where I was puling out nails
Deep in my shoulder

Still trying my best
If only it was better
This wouldn't be hard

How is it like this?
Uncontrollable feelings
A sort of sickness

I'm not happy now
This semester or myself?
Something needs to change

Best finest surgeon
Quickly please before it spreads
Come cut me open

Why is it Like This?

Why is it like this?
I'm dying but I'm okay
Daily college life

What is it I want?
I don't know anything now
Constantly drifting

Sliver of a moon
Effortlessly hanging there
Against the dark sky

Quietly he went
Slipped into oblivion
Never to return

Doing Better Now

Doing better now
But still far from being great
Oh well that is life

Hey I'm just kidding
Really hating life right now
Though it's not that bad

Had an Awful Night

Had an awful night
An emotional break down
Is not fun at all

Fifth Day Without Sleep

Fifth day without sleep
But I'll continue to sing
Like I'm not tired

Plans for the future
A long list of things to do
Before my journey

How am I awake?
With so many restless nights
Simply amazing

Fading in and Out

Fading in and out
Here but somewhere else as well
Unstable presence

Scenery changes
Constantly evolving form
My identity

Haven't Gotten Sleep

Haven't gotten sleep
And a long day is ahead
So fucking tired

Looking back again
I have no idea what
I was thinking then

Just want to complain
lkjhygtfrtyuiokl;lkjhgfdghjk
Yeah, first world problems

It's Crazy to Think

It is a bit weird
I have an older sister
But sometimes forget

One day at a time
Just trying to do my best
Can be really hard

It's crazy to think
That in a couple of months
I'll be in Japan

As rain gently falls
She brings the cup to her mouth
And slowly sips tea

Unmotivated

Unmotivated
Just trying to keep it up
Need another break

A Saturday night
Hitler, Marie Antoinette
Made no fucking sense

Sitting in my room
And the unproductiveness
Hit me like a wall

I really have no idea what I'm doing with my life.

Busy Like a Bee

Busy like a bee
No time for shitty haiku
But I'll be back soon

So much has happened
Indy, and brownies as well
So interesting

Uh, Where to Begin?

Uh, where to begin?
Yesterday played some tennis
Did some drinking too

15 page paper
I hope you get written soon
I'll start at some point

Mid semester break
All I want to do right now
Is watch some Netflix

Home-made curry rice
And macha flavored cake too
Fucking delicious

Flirtatious Nature

Don't feel like myself
But then who is my real self?
And what is not real?

So much work to do
Somehow managing I guess?
Hope it all gets done

Flirtatious nature
But anything serious
She cannot handle

Just a Bit Stressed Out

All of these forms here
Are making me lose my mind
Just a bit stressed out

So much to do and
So much to think about now
Just need to get through

It Kept On Growing

It kept on growing
And for some reason I cried
Alone in my room

Interesting weekend
Always goes by too fast though
I feel better now

Without my knowledge
Everything had piled up
But I lied, I knew

Not yet an adult
But way beyond a child
Getting there slowly

So much to do now
Yet no motivation here
Andrew Bird plays on

What is Going On

What is going on
I don't really know right now
A mental breakdown?

Calmly Passing Time

Calmly passing time
She paints her nails on Friday
A sea green color

Suddenly one day
The bitter cold has returned
Red noses and all

With wind comes winter
And without missing a beat
Snow goes on falling

Going to Japan

Going to Japan
And will be there for a year
Hasn't hit me yet

I'm too tired to form real haiku tonight, but I honestly had a great day. 8:30 class cancelled so I got to sleep more, a cute old lady Jazz pianist came and played for my Jazz History class which was just amazing, I had a funny 1:1 with my boss, learned I got accepted to study abroad, had a great time at dinner with friends, got to work out, and yeah. Just a great day :)

Just Too Delicate

Just too delicate
Head is about to explode
Stress stress stress stress stress

Kamikaze birds
Swiftly flying through the sky
Will not return home

Long time no see yeah?
Maybe that's why it's awkward
Knife cutting tension

Dinner Time Laughter

Dinner time laughter
We cannot control ourselves
Oh what a great meal

Recently these days
I predict things that happen
A strange clairvoyance?

The more I think now
Somehow it was so awkward
When you sat by me

Jazz listening log
A love-hate relationship
Why you take so long?

Patiently waiting
If I'm not accepted in
I'll probably cry

What is wrong with you?
So childish,immature
Not the girl I knew

Like a Paper Crane

Like a paper crane
My heart is blown by the wind
One yard to the next

Always an excuse
Others' faults easily seen
Will I look past them?

Irreplaceable
Those feelings that are now gone
Dissolved over time

My feelings jump all over the place; they're unstable. Is this really okay?

But Not Always Bad

Slowly crawling doubts
Come when I least expect it
Widening the hole

Don't know what I want
And some days I'm really scared
But not always bad

Before I know it
Irrational jealousy
Flowing through my veins

In the shining sun
A nice change of of scenery
Playing in the park

A second home here
Safely inside the bubble
But can be hell too

When did I become
(Somehow as the years went by)
So apathetic?

Just Wanted Yogurt

We have come so far
And when I look behind me
I can't see the start

With a jaded sigh
She sits and watches the world
A foggy future

Doesn't seem too hard
Becoming truly happy
Harder than it seems

The time passes by
And I start asking myself
What am I doing

Just wanted yogurt
But no my zipper got stuck
Well thank god for knives

As the rain falls down
Somber but content smile
Spreads across her face

Untouchable world
Something deep inside her grows
That cannot be stopped

Losing My Mind Here

Whoops forgot to post
Yesterday was just crazy
Losing my mind here

Why am I so stressed?
A whirlwind of emotions
Need to persevere

The list never ends
Some days I am really stressed
But things get better

Back and forth it goes
With avid concentration
Table tennis match

Spring Comes in Winter

Spring comes in winter
As sunshine pours through windows
I eat my breakfast

Days are all a blur
How does the time past so fast?
Can't keep up with it

Probably content
But occasionally still
A painful throbbing

Fucking Austria
It is a real town I swear
Let's go there someday

To be honest I still really miss you. We were really close to becoming close friends but then that happened and we started to drift apart. I thought you wanted to be good friends with me. I thought you like me. But now I don't know. I should have been angrier with you and at at time I think I acted like I really was. But honestly I was just sad. Because I didn't want what happened to happened. I didn't want to become distant. I feel at ease around you and like we really could connect. I look back on the times we spend together with fondness. I want to still talk to you and see you, but I don't know if you would do that because you felt the same or because you wouldn't want to hurt me. I think at one point I could have fallen for you, and maybe I did. But now I just want to go back to being friends, even though that might not be possible at all. Because now you are good friends with you and there isn't a place for me. I don't really know what I want at this point. I don't know what I should want. But I find myself longing to talk to you again.

Too Late for a Nap

Where has the day gone?
And why am I so tired?
Trying my best here

So an okay time
But we're back to ignoring?
Whatever I guess

I dreamed about you
And I feel nice around you
Am I just lonely?

Too late for a nap
I want to get more rest but
Too early to sleep

Racism at lunch
A bonding experience
We joke about race

Can I Skip this Part?

Looking on it now
I've made a lot of mistakes
And continue to

Can I keep this up?
I really hope that I can
Someday I'll be strong

How it went who knows
Awkward for sure but okay?
Confusing feelings

No motivation
But then again what is new
Can I skip this part?

Absently she looks
As the trees block out the sun
And a sigh escapes

Against the Blue Sky

Against the blue sky
A medium puff of cloud
Leisurely drifts by

Awkward encounter
So quickly my mood changes
As the sun goes down

Super Delicious

Somber looking eyes
Talk lined with gossip and drinks
She sits quietly

Made Japanese food
Soba, udon, curry too
Super delicious

Finally Friday
While others play all night long
I am stuck in here

I had a lot of dreams last night. Here is a quick summary of them.

bloody luffa
bad curry car driving, horse, lost, dog
ruda injured, walking
my room ken story
feel tired
bathroom bahha
reddit kelsie nicole talk leave my room
prospie my room is big, tea cup, phone, etc.
beach people looking/digging scary thing
my room jamelle harvey
shoes backpack walking to gym
get to gym crowded tired gus reiko walk down fake stairs
leave out big garage door, field of soy walk get lost
come back guy with spaghetti sauce tiny crabs invites to party
walk through door

Unfair from the start

Bit spaced out today
Mistaking people and such
I just need to sleep

Will winter beat me?
So far I think it's winning
Unfair from the start

What am I thinking?
I'm going through the motions
While my mind is gone

So quickly indeed
Somehow I become attached
Unsettling glance

CPR Is Hard

So busy lately
Where is the time for myself?
Disliked lifestyle

Thinking of the past
As if it was just a dream
I can only smile

Oh scoliosis
Why you hurt my back so much?
Not cool at all spine

CPR is hard
What I have learned so far is
I can't save a life

I'd like to think that
If I could go to the past
Things would be different

Wake Up Feeling Sick

Wake up feeling sick
Want to spend the day sleeping
Is wishful thinking

Somewhat productive
But there is no end in sight
Miss being lazy

Can't Stop Drinking You

What has happened here?
I thought we formed connections
Sending mixed signals

While eating salad
You just walk on right by me
Looking straight ahead

A hard lesson learned
No matter how much I try
The end is the same

Big green Aloe drink
Why are you so addicting?
Can't stop drinking you

some days i feel unlovable

And recently I have been so moody. It's tiring.

So Unproductive

Such a long long day
And super tired as well
So unproductive

Laughter and Clinking

Laughter and clinking
In a blur the night progressed
Interesting indeed

Calling out my name
Your words of praise will trick me
All want attention

A man and his dog
With tail wagging excitement
Sledding down the hill

Without getting hurt
She tries he best to woe him
But to no avail

Things I Need To Do

Okay interview?
He says my chances are good
Here I come Japan?

Things I need to do
And the things I want to do
A constant struggle

Waking Up For Class

Waking up for class
Is hard to do when you get
Very little sleep

Somehow recently
Everything feels different
Have I stopped caring?

What happened to me
With no driving ambitions
My life continues

This Rumination

I guess in the end
Some things still do bother me
Like being distant

I say that I'm fine
But when i am around you
It doesn't seem so

I'm just so confused
As to what i am feeling
Too complicated

Sometimes I wonder
If I'm more complicated
Than most people are

This rumination
And all this self reflection
Can't be good for me

I wish I could say
Completely and honestly
That I'm doing great

Strangely I'm Content

Aroused by the clash
Early morning thunder storms
Strangely I'm content

Outside my window
Though skies were gray I felt good
Rainy winter day

I Have Been Thinking

Been safe so far but
I have a whole semester
To fuck it all up
(let's hope that doesn't happen!)

Harder than it sounds
Figuring out who I am
Unsolvable maze

I'm secretly lost
In a non-existing world
Far away from here

I have been thinking
Too much self reflection lately?
Just the way I am

Some days I feel so abnormal. Like I really am missing something. Like I lost something that most people have. And I'll never get it back. Do you ever feel like that?

It's The Moment When

It's the moment when
Dreams and reality mix
The lines start to blur

Oh so much to do
But I want to be lazy
And indulge myself

Our eyes start to lock
A new love window perhaps
But no hopes not yet

Moving from the past
Why did I feel as I did?
Still not very sure

In all honesty
I think I've matured a lot
More than you will know

At some point in time I stopped getting angry. Not permanently, things occasionally make me irked or upset, but for the most part I moved past that emotion. An old friend once told me that anger was a secondary emotion; it was always caused by some underlying emotion. And to me I guess that made sense. It is pointless and unproductive to be angry. Especially at the little things in life. The little things that happen daily which we have no control over. Like being stuck in traffic or when things don't go exactly as planned. I used to let those things bother me. I used to let those thing make me angry. Yet somehow somewhere along this road such things stopped making me angry. It's an interesting feeling. Something close to being enlightened if such a thing really exists. Watching other people get so angry or upset over such insignificant things baffles me now. I wonder how I became this way...

A Bit Hungover

A bit hungover
The memories of last night
Are foggy indeed

Cold Fingers, Warm Breath

Good at wasting time
Whether time moves fast or slow
Clocks tick on and on

Mind starts to wander
Yet at the same time stays still
That sort of feeling

Cold fingers, warm breath
The world becomes a pure white
A beautiful sight


I think those bittwersweet things, things that make you smile yet feel a profound sadness at the same time, are the most beautiful things in life.

Oh How Exciting

Classes start again
A stressful time lies ahead
Oh how exciting

Today I was told
I will make beautiful kids
It made me smile

Moving from the past
A difficult thing sometimes
Everything changes

Heart, what's going on
I don't understand my love
If that's what it is

I think I've moved on
But still wanting attention
Pathetic I know

And we could never go back to the way things were. Once something changes, even is that change is a minor one, it will never go back to the way it once was. Because things are constantly changing; it's an unstoppable force. And that's the way the world works. And it always will. But just because something changes doesn't mean it has changed for the worst. Things can be repaired, mended. It won't be the same as the past, but it's not lost or forgotten either. Which can be a good thing. Either way it's something we all must come to accept at some point in our lives.

Healthy Lifestyle?

Wanted to sleep in
But ended up working out
Healthy lifestyle?

Yeah she's losing it
She tries her best to hide it
Is it working though?

1Q84
Balance itself is the good
Forever searching

Another Long Day

Another long day
So much running through my mind
But I'll persevere

We've come to the point
Where you can only say hi?
And the rest were lies?

God What a Long Day

God what a long day
And somewhat pointless as well
I just want to sleep

Good to see my friends
But anxious to see others
And round two begins

Here it Goes Again

Waking up at 8
Without getting that much sleep
A horrible thing

So, back at college
Early for RA training
Oh how exciting

Here it goes again
Ready to see old faces?
Actually no

Was in a bad mood
Wish I could have properly
Said goodbye and thanks

Oceans, Dragons, What?

Oh last day of break
And what shall I do today?
Nothing as always

My dreams make no sense
Really I cannot explain
Oceans, dragons, what?

Guitar's vibrations
And the sight of you painting
I'll miss you brother

Feeling a Bit Sick

Feeling a bit sick
Want to be in bed all day
But oh if only

A Subtle Indifference

With concentration
My brother composes
Pressed piano keys

With the flow of time
Another day almost gone
Melds into the next

Sitting on the couch
A subtle indifference
Overtakes me now

Fall Without a Word

Everything turns white
Snowflakes continue to fall
Fall without a word

What am I doing
Losing touch with emotions
Who have I become?

Movie With My Dad

Hello period
And hello to the snow too
Few more days of break

Looks like a blizzard
Drinking freshly brewed coffee
From inside I watch

Movie with my dad
Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
Not family friendly

This Haiku is Stupid

A new year began
And a new haircut as well
This haiku is stupid

Korean music
Though I don't know Korean
I love you so much

New Year's Eve party
I could be a thumb model
Only a bit drunk