Almost a new year
This one was so amazing
Let's keep going up

Too tired, lazy
To be writing new haiku
Haven't done that much

Wanted a new book
But did not expect to spend
All of that money.....orz

I want to travel more. I want to read more. I want to watch more movies. I want to eat good food and drink good alcohol. I want to listen to good music and I want to dance more. I want to experience life as much as I can.

Starting To Get Bored

Starting to get bored
I like being lazy but
This has been too long

Emotions with the
Weather change so easily
Best to take caution

Completely forgot
To renew the books I got
From the library

I wonder if I
Will be satisfied in this
Life before the end

TIGF:
-TV Shows
-LOTR/The Hobbit
-Discovering new music
-Pretty nail polish
-Not wanting to kill bugs
-Warmer weather
-Yummy sandwiches
-Cute animal tracks in the snow
-Tumblr
-Being in a better mood

Being strong doesn't mean you don't have any weaknesses. It means that you can admit you do have weakness and that you are trying to face them. It doesn't mean you can face anything and can face anything alone. It means you know you can ask for help when you need it. That's what true strength is.

Tired and worried
What am I going to do
The rest of my life

In Costa Rica
I will have my period
I just want to cry

I guess I always
Am pretty hard on myself
Sometimes way too hard

Well this was the worst
Christmas Eve I've ever had
I'm feeling too much

This was the first time
I've ever felt like killing
A complete stranger

These Are Things I Like

Don't feel like myself
But then again, who am I?
Existential thoughts

Glimpses of the past
Every so often spring up
And tear me apart

Although I'm happy
It pales in comparison
To what I once had

Though I may think that
I really am happy now
So I am thankful

Drinking tea daily
And taking care of my plants
These are things I like

I realize I can't
Express myself all that well
Something to work on

I Can Get So Lost

I can get so lost
In something that isn't real
It overtakes me

Chicago weekend
Wasn't quite what I wanted
But that is okay

Even if it hurts
Even if it doesn't last
(I) Want to drown in love

Sometimes I'm not there
Whether laughing, talking I
Am miles away

Christmas Market in Chicago

Rather Than Waiting

Sometime I wonder

What kind of person I'd be

Without the divorce 

Have you ever looked

In the mirror and thought you

Were so beautiful? 

Sometimes I can't stop

Even if I don't need it

Shopping addiction

I am choosing to

Be happy with my life now

Rather than waiting

Being a human

Can be so complicated

So much we don't know 

No Regrets, So Cute

Today with my dad
I saw the movie Frozen
No regrets, so cute

Skyping with old friends
Really makes me so happy
I miss all of you

Lazy winter break
This is probably my last
Gotta spend it well

There are so many
Cute things that I want to own
I'm okay with that

Maybe I should be
Looking for a job but I
Cannot move forward

Asking For Too Much?

All I want for life:
Cute clothes, plants, pets, and good food
Asking for too much?

Watched some makeup vlogs
Now I want to buy makeup
Give me money please

My self confidence
Has become so much higher
Continues to grow

I think I have been
Stuck inside and secluded
For a bit too long

One more lazy day
But I did get some stuff done!
Decorating done!

Christmas Cookies~!

Some things are still hard
To properly face straight on
I'm doing my best

The world is run by
Money, money, and money
Need to marry rich

My body is like
Just got to bed, but my brain
Says watch Game of Thrones

I guess even when
You forgive somebody the
Memories still hurt

Being an adult
Doesn't mean those feelings leave
You just contain them

I guess in the end
I just want to fall in love
Just once is enough

Simple Things In Life

In the dark of night
The city's lights reflected
Off the pure white snow

Days are slipping by
Drinking tea and watching birds
Simple things in life

A constant struggle
Which we can't change but can fight
The life of humans

I want to make life
Into something of my own
Without any restraints

It's Been A While

Never ending snow
Equals me staying inside
That's okay by me

Animal Planet
Growing up is way too cute
I want animals!

It's been a while
Since I've written some haiku
But I'll do my best

Finally done with
My last fall semester of
My last college year

I'm back in that place
Where time or nothing matters
Inside my own world

Been way too busy
To document my life with
Some shitty haiku

But don't worry, I'll be back soon~!

Slowly, inch by inch
I am completing thesis
A painful process

I'm tired... :(
But staying positive! :)

Glass Of Wine, Chocolate

So easily
We forget what's important
I will try not to

If only work was
Stimulating, exciting
Oh yes if only

Glass of wine, chocolate
To celebrate the end of
Our hip-hop hell class

Only three more days
Until my thesis is due
I think I will cry

Sometimes I just talk
Just speaking, mind somewhere else
Is that really me?

Costa Rica, Yes!

All of the pieces
At last have been collected
Time to fit them in

In less than one month
I will be in beautiful
Costa Rica, yes!

I can not believe
My best friend will study here
After I am gone

Feels Good To Be Back

Feels good to be back
Just sitting in the lobby
Chatting and laughing

So there is a chance
I fucked up my JET chances
Oh well, too late now

The world's a cruel place
But it is also very
Beautiful as well

I wonder what the future holds....

We Are Here Living

There are times when life
Seems so extraordinary
It's too much to bear

Whether it was God
Or evolution; fate, chance
We are here living

I have a feeling
I wanted to say something
But now it is gone

Took a walk outside
Afternoon sun, winter geese
And a quite lake

Just Another Day

Just another day
Of doing almost nothing
A beautiful break

Some Christmas shopping
I got outside of the house
So that was a plus

When I looked over
And saw her sitting alone
I felt kind of bad

All I want for those
That I love with all my heart
Is their happiness

2013 was really a great year. Probably one of the best years of my life. I made so many wonderful memories with  friends both in Japan and America. I'm so grateful for the life I've had so far, and the amazing family and friends who have been here to share it with me. I'll be starting 2014 off in Costa Rica with some of those amazing friends, and I couldn't be more excited! And in May I'll be graduating from college. I have no idea what 2014, or the rest of my life for that matter, has in store for me, but I'm excited for whatever adventures lie ahead.

Happy Thanksgiving
So much to be thankful for
Life is amazing

Sit Back And Relax

With times things will change

No need to force what won't move

Sit back and relax

Lost in a dream world

It has been such a long time

Since I felt this way

Sometimes I think of 

All the things that could have been

Maybe I shouldn't

So many things keep

Running the track of my mind

Don't you get tired?!

Saw some good old friends

It's crazy to think six years

Have past since we met

It's already Wednesday. I just need these next two weeks to go by fast so I can feel like I actually have a break and am not stressing out. Oh well. I'll hang in there. Can't wait for Costa Rica though~! 

Snow~!!!

No Energy Left

Although it almost
Took a tree's worth of paper
I finished the app

Grey skies, cold winds
My spirit sets with the sun
No energy left



I miss friends both old and new. I like being home but at the same time I don't. It's kinda stressful. And I feel like a child again. I can't be independent here I guess. I dunno. Also I don't want to work on my thesis :/
I guess I'll just avoid reality for a bit longer...

This Is Annoying

It just feels too weird
And makes me a bit sad too
I can't relax here

Too much left to do
So I can't feel that relaxed
This is annoying

Not yet December
Yet the world has been covered
In crystal white snow

Silent and peaceful
A feeling like no other
As my breathe turns white

Just a few more weeks
And the stress will disapper
If only a bit

Just feeling stressed and emotional today :/

Oh Well Oh Well Ugh

For some reason I
Don't feel like an adult when
I am back at home

Almost everything
Just seems to get on my nerves
Hate it but can't change

Got some work done but
This day went by very fast
Oh well oh well ugh

Sometimes looking back
Can be almost too painful
Must live in the now

Let's Make Memories

When I am at home
Almost all the walls go down
Like a kid again

One dollar beer nights
Are seriously so fun
Drink the night away

Let's make memories
That leave unforgettable
Impressions and stains

So easily fears
Replace rationality
Need to move forward

Maybe I am too
Forgiving but I don't think
That is a bad thing

Surrounded by a
Sea of beautiful clouds
A beautiful sight

I need to be productive this week! I can do it! Staying positive! Yeah!

Ran into a cat today. So cute. So soft. So much love.

For That I'm Grateful

These days I have been
Just genuinely happy
For that I'm grateful

I'm also grateful
For my plants, friends, family
And for so much more

Even if you say
You don't like my bright red nails
I won't stop painting

The more time we spend
Laughing together, the more
I want time to stop

I have come so far
Where I say with confidence
I do love myself

Tonight I will drink
All of the one dollar beer
Way too excited

Asian Men I Said

Inside of her eyes
The most vivid sunflowers
Were always blooming

Spirits and spinach!
Flawlessly our actions match
Strange but so funny

Without real reason
I have to go through my day
Feeling so tired

What is the extent
Of your experiences?
Asian men I said

Some days beautiful
But others not cute at all
Oscillating me

Why does my heart ache
When the truth is my heart does
Not even exist!!!    #Digimon lol

Some Days Are Just Good

Once in a while
No matter what will happen
Some days are just good

Two times this week I
Have been able to feast on
Thanksgiving bounty

Finally at last!
We had a class where no one
Could say stupid things

It's a good feeling
When you can rediscover
The things you forgot

Only three more days
Until I get to go home
And write more thesis

These past couple days
Have been so hilarious
I have awesome friends

A song or image
Certain phrases or feelings
Brings me to that place

As fast as it came
Like the last few withered leaves
Fall fell to the ground

Got Shit Done Today!

Got shit done today!
Still so much left to do though
But I got some done!

Woke up this morning
Thought the world is beautiful
Angd was so peaceful

Thanksgiving Dinner
Not really but among friends
I am thankful for

Tired so tired
But I'm really happy too
Well that's life for you

On the same level
Maybe meeting you two was
A really good thing

I have ten girlfriends
Everyone is so funny
My friends are so great

Hope You Can Do It

To future Emma:
I'm sorry I'm lazy now
Hope you can do it

Breath quickens, cold sweat
Suddenly you can't see straight
The world slips away

Today I should have
Been really productive but
There is nothing done

I just can't even
God what am I doing now
December come fast

Always tomorrow
I tell myself every day
But now is better

Laughing so hard that
Water bursts out from my mouth
What a funny night

Miss A Lot Of Things

Reading the letter
I couldn't help but snicker
Since it was so cute

Afternoon flew by
But really though, time's too fast
I got nothing done

Massaman curry
Going out like this is fun
Spending time with friends

Miss going on dates
Miss the big city, the lights
Miss a lot of things

One paper down but
A mountain of work remains
But I'm so tired

A drunk Ryota is
Actually so super cute
Ugh I hate feelings (sometimes)

Strange But Okay, Sure

Tumblt addiction
Suddenly time disappears
But I cannot stop

1:06am

Hopefully this won't
Have an unhappy ending
I'm rooting for you?

Suddenly I have
Become everyone's love coach
Strange but okay, sure

It makes me happy
When people say they like me
Helps me keep going

What am I feeling?
Why can't someone just tell me?
That would be so nice

I really miss just
Reading for fun, getting lost
In a different world

A Goal With No End

I take back those times

When I thought of being sick

Don't want that at all

I think it's strong if

You can admit weaknesses 

Then you start to grow

That look on her face

She's radiating sadness

And drowning in sighs

Almost the weekend

But that's not consolation

So much left to do

I try not to forget

Though it sometimes slips my mind

A goal with no end

Just like I need air

I need music to survive

Need music to be

Scarf around her neck

And both hands in her pockets

She walks winter paths

これは好きではないけど何だろうねこれ。気になっているかな？もっといい友達になりたい。最近会いたいと思ったら会える。ただの偶然かわからないけどね。まあ、どうでもいいか。疲れているから寝よう～！

Hope I Can Survive

I think today I'm

Still kinda in a weird place

Don't know what I feel

This weekend will be

Rougher than purgatory 

Hope I can survive

Maybe little things

Don't have any real meaning 

But maybe they do

I know what I want

But I don't know how I am

Going to get it 

Because what I want

Is an intangible want

At least I think so

There's a lot of good

That surrounds the life I live

I'm very thankful

Crystal cycle now

But hey, it's not a full moon!

Not a moon goddess 

I don’t think every little thing that happens in life has a meaning. But I think that all of those little things add up to something big and there’s a meaning in that. 

Today Was A Lot

Certain events that
I thought no longer phased me
Obviously do

But I was so shocked
Because I didn't think I
Would react like that

With my lack of sleep
My period and this shit
Today was a lot

But I guess such things
You have to deal with when you
Become an adult

I don't know if it's because I'm tired or if I just haven't had to encounter images of violence against women like that in a long time, but the clip we watched in class tonight really affected me. I just never thought I would have reacted the way I did. Pretty emotional.

Days Become Colder

Days become colder
And as summertime faded
Memories did too

Staring at this tea
And thinking "this is my life"
Just another night

Oh my genmaicha
I really love drinking tea
All I want to do

So much work to do
Sometimes too overwhelming
But I'm just lazy

Always so worried
That we don't seem to notice
We are living now

An afternoon nap
Just want to sleep forever
Reenter the void

Some memories may
Warm you from the inside but
Some tear you apart

11:51pm

First snow of winter
Wait, this is a bit too soon!
Midwest weather cray

One-one Pocky Day
As usual still single
Forever alone

I can't seem to tell
Same as always probably
Just a bit lonely

But if this was like
I don't think I can do much
I'll just wait it out

One job app is done
Another left to go
Along with school work

Snooowwww ;_;

Hey Body, Not Now!

I feel like I need
To get my life together
I'll start tomorrow

Slowly descending
Into the realm of sickness
Hey body, not now!

Jobs apps and thesis
Really need to work this week
Gotta get it done!

I think I forgot
That there isn't a meaning
To life without love

I want a love that
Will put shame to all fiction
If it does exist

Brisket BBQ

Brisket BBQ
Melt in my mouth, heavenly
I really love food

Did nothing Friday
Didn't do much today too
Becoming lazy

Something about you
Makes me feel comfortable
Little baby bear

Trimmed my bangs today
But maybe now they're too short
But I still look cute

Oh God Last Night Was

Oh god last night was
A lot of fun but crazy
Paying for it now

I'm trying my best
That's all I really can do
Just to keep trying

Squatting Every Day

Emotional drain
These past few days have been tough
Want to be stronger

As I heard her tell
The story of her cousin
Couldn't help but cry

My two imouto
Grown to really like you guys
Let's become closer

The first guy I've meet
Who is weaker than I am
You are still cute though

Times when I am down
I'm glad to be surrounded
By amazing friends

Squatting every day
1, 2, pulse, pulse, up and down
Gonna have cute butt

Am I just lonely?
Or am I interested?
I guess we will see

I cannot help be
Just a little bit jealous
Maybe you are too

A Little Upset

God, I can't even
I just don't know what to say
A little upset

I'm really thankful
For the way I was raised and
The way I have grown

Ladybug Boyfriend

Skyped with friends last night
Overwhelming emotions
Still feel them today

Tired and sickly
I just want to relax please
Senior year is hell

We meet once again
I know you take up my time
Korean dramas

Ladybug boyfriend
We spent the night together
But then you were crushed

My boyfriend 

Left Foot Over Right

Some days I wonder
Falling in love would be nice
But for now just thoughts

Now that I'm thinking
Maybe I've never been struck
By true love's arrow

Left foot over right
Though the path is still unknown
Continue to walk

Sunday afternoon
I should be doing work but
Let's go ice-skating

Stomach is so full
I feel like I will explode
I'm chicken waffle

Was feeling good but
Now I kinda feel like shit
Thank you universe
:/

So many people
I wish I could see right now
Some days are painful

Ice skating!!

Panda Trashcan Drink

Panda trashcan drink
Laughing until 5am
Senior escapades

It is sad to think
That I won't always be by
The ones that I love

I will miss these days
But I am looking forward
To walking to my own path

Grey sky, orange leaves
And a hot cup of black tea
It's a Beatles day

Making closer friends
Still missing those who are far
But well so it goes

Some of my friends who dressed up last night...

11:44pm

All of a sudden

A pang of sadness came through

Left a mark in me

The Person I Am

"I'll never forget
The day that my own mother
Didn't know my face"
;_;

The you in my mind
And the real you that exists
Aren't the same person

As the door opens
And I see the yellow leaves
Life is beautiful

The high that comes with
Having an awesome workout
Is unbeatable

Over these four years
I really have changed a lot
Truly amazing

Love who you are first
Then you can truly start to
Love those around you

I have never felt
This much confidence about
The person I am

Yes, Halloween Night

Yes, Halloween night
Drink beer and relaxing
With Minnie ears on

Another day gone
Avoiding what should be done
Give no fucks for now

Free in the Present

Four girls, one circle
As we become more tired
Snacking and chatting

An art gallery
Without those perfect moments
There is no meaning

Feels like forever
Only two hours left
Desk meditation

Eyes are so tired
And with a dreary fall day
I just want to nap

Future coming fast
Don't hold on to fears or hopes
Free in the present

Drizzling grey sky
Hoarse voices cheer from the stands
Afternoon soccer

Sometimes the past becomes a blur. But there are certain times I don't want to forget. Times of pure happiness or fun. Times that have touched me or affected me for some reason. Times that have changed me and times were I have grown. Times which were better than expected. There are times I don't want to forget.

But Then I Worked Out

Higher place of mind
A deep breath in, deep breath out
Let us meditate

Some days waste of time
But I guess I'm getting paid
Earlham work study

Felt like I would die
Just so tired all the time
But then I worked out

What I really want
Maybe I just do not know
Figuring it out

I need to meditate more often.

No Presents For Us

"Sex is a great gift"
But it is not Christmas Eve
No presents for us

My toaster how sad
Tori is hilarious
8 eggos a day

Taco night and tag
And some tickling as well
Lazy Monday night

Slight mental breakdown
Emotions all up in here
I just need a nap

So It's Been Some Time

So it's been some time
Since I've dropped a couple rhymes
A lot of changes

A lot of changes
But one thing is still the same:
My shitty haiku

You have a girlfriend
Breaking up would be great though
So we could just fuck

Sunny autumn day
Smell of freshly picked apples
Good memories made

So many worries
I know I can be stronger
It's just really hard

Time takes no notice
As the more friends I make the
More I say goodbye

That haiku was so shitty it isn't even a real haiku.

I'm scared to say goodbye to all of the amazing friends I have made here. It's hard to become really close with people when you know that eventually you will be separated. I know we can still stay in touch even if we are far away, but that just isn't the same as seeing the people you love on a regular basis.

I'm scared about my future. I'm scared about getting a real job. I'm scared about not knowing what I want to do with my life. I'm scared of not being able to support myself or the ones I love.

I'm scared of the future.

But I'm also optimistic. And I'm also excited. And I'm so grateful now for the great friends and family I have, and for the incredibly wonderful and amazing experiences I have had so far. Nothing is perfect, and there have been bad times too, but those aren't the times that stick with me.

I'm going to continue to live my life the best way I can. I'm going to continue to evolve and grow as a person. I have come so far in the past couple of years; I have started to love myself. I look forward to the way I will continue to change as a person. Life can be really hard some times, but it can also be really great too.

Here is a cat

Have to remember
I'm not a kid anymore
I don't feel like one

Oh these past few days
Trying not to lose my mind
I need one more break!

Because it seems that it's on that track right now....

Let's hope that my life
Does not actually become
An Asian drama

It's selfish I know
But I really want to keep
Them all to myself

A 4am Park

A 4am park
5 minutes became 40
It's been a while

2 hours of sleep
How did I go through this day
All the emotions

An Early Spring Day

An early spring day
Jogging under sakura
What a great feeling

I Am So In Love

Still fighting a cold
Thought I would be productive
That didn't work out

Samgyeopsal dinner
And a free egg dish as well
I am so in love

Purikura fun
Just use all of the sparkles!
I can't get enough

Trying to be close
I guess this things take some time
Still formalities

TIGF:
-Getting to nap
-New music
-Samgyeopsal
-Free food
-Seeing friends
-Yummy cake
-Purikura

I Am Not Kidding

Am still a bit sick
But slowly getting better
Don't give up body!

I can't stress enough
How much I don't want to move
This cannot be true

I am not kidding
If we do end up moving
I will be so sad

View from my window
The path that I take daily
I love them too much

Want to be closer
But am I just day dreaming?
Are you what I need?


TIGF:
-The neighborhood I live in
-For slowly getting better
-For skyping with friends and family

Missing Old Friendships

Missing old friendships
How did it end up like this?
Where did it go wrong?

Sick sick sick sick sick
Ended up sleeping all day
Still don't feel better

My heart likes to make
The same mistakes more than once
Will this be the same?

Tired but restless
What is going on with me
What do I want now?



TIGF:
-Sleep

Nabe Party Fun

This year my body
Has decided to hate me
Want to be healthy ;_;

Shimane is soon
Still so much to do before
But so excited!

Nabe party fun
Cannot wait for adventures
Will have too much fun

TIGF:
-Not being sicker?
-Getting more mail and photos from Shimane host family
-My new Waseda sweater!

Talking Through the Night

Clubbing through the night
Dancing, drinking, laughing too
Having too much fun

Not really good friends
But it was a lot of fun
Let's leave it at that

Do I have a crush?
And on more than one person
I don't even know

Oh handsome faces,
How easy I fall for you
It is a problem

Bright lights, chilly winds
Could walk like this forever
Talking through the night

Four hours of sleep
Actually less than that
Still functioning well

A Bowl of Nabe

It went on my lap
And then my purse, scarf, and wall
A bowl of nabe

There are some days when
I don't feel like a human
Should just stay inside

One paper, one class
Don't leave me motivation!
You are still needed!

TIGF:
-Last Tuesday class
-Nicer weather
-Showers
-Finishing one paper
-More flowers blooming

Cake Tabehoudai

Cake tabehoudai
So much food, so delicious
There goes my diet

Knew this would happen
It wasn't intentional
I've seen this before

Still trying my best
But between papers and plans
I am quite tired

At times I notice
How horrible I can be
Trying to change that

TIGF:
-Finishing my last final!
-Having only two more papers left!
-Getting to chat with niji members!
-Bitter Sweets!
-Doing yoga again!

At a Sumo Match

So tired today
I just wanna be healthy
Even bought a charm

Clamor of the crowd
And repeated rituals
At a sumo match

TIGF:
-Not having a weaker body
-Getting to see live sumo!
-Yummy food
-Finishing a paper!

All the Emotions

All the emotions
Swirling through my head right now
Makes me exhausted

Afternoon walking
Leafless trees against the sun
Smiles everywhere

It's been a while
Glad we were able to talk
For such a long time

TIGF:
-Getting one final done!
-Eating at a cute cafe for lunch!
-Getting some work on a paper done!
-The flowers my brother got me!
-Yoyogi park!
-Letting myself relax!

Making Friends, Free Food

Samgyeopsal place
Starting to go there often
Making friends, free food

Final tomorrow
Did not study that much though
Just want vacation

Oh stomach of why
You haven't been doing well
What's up with this month

Though I love it here
I miss my summer bubble
Don't want to grow up

TIGFT:
-Pretty clouds
-Finishing one paper
-Music
-Delicious Korean food
-Free cheese dukbbokki!!!~

It's Been a Long Time

It's been a long time
Since I've written haiku
I've missed doing this

Four months in Japan
I've really done so much here
I don't want to leave

The person I was
The person I'm becoming
There has been a change

Must take a step back
Think about what I'm doing
Caught up in the flow

TITF:
-Semi-decent weather
-Fun English lessons
-Getting lunch and agift from my student
-Getting an A on a paper
-Writing haiku again
-My cute little host brother handing me bread and telling me good luck with my studying!