We Are Here Living

There are times when life
Seems so extraordinary
It's too much to bear

Whether it was God
Or evolution; fate, chance
We are here living

I have a feeling
I wanted to say something
But now it is gone

Took a walk outside
Afternoon sun, winter geese
And a quite lake

Just Another Day

Just another day
Of doing almost nothing
A beautiful break

Some Christmas shopping
I got outside of the house
So that was a plus

When I looked over
And saw her sitting alone
I felt kind of bad

All I want for those
That I love with all my heart
Is their happiness

2013 was really a great year. Probably one of the best years of my life. I made so many wonderful memories with  friends both in Japan and America. I'm so grateful for the life I've had so far, and the amazing family and friends who have been here to share it with me. I'll be starting 2014 off in Costa Rica with some of those amazing friends, and I couldn't be more excited! And in May I'll be graduating from college. I have no idea what 2014, or the rest of my life for that matter, has in store for me, but I'm excited for whatever adventures lie ahead.

Happy Thanksgiving
So much to be thankful for
Life is amazing

Sit Back And Relax

With times things will change

No need to force what won't move

Sit back and relax

Lost in a dream world

It has been such a long time

Since I felt this way

Sometimes I think of 

All the things that could have been

Maybe I shouldn't

So many things keep

Running the track of my mind

Don't you get tired?!

Saw some good old friends

It's crazy to think six years

Have past since we met

It's already Wednesday. I just need these next two weeks to go by fast so I can feel like I actually have a break and am not stressing out. Oh well. I'll hang in there. Can't wait for Costa Rica though~! 

Snow~!!!

No Energy Left

Although it almost
Took a tree's worth of paper
I finished the app

Grey skies, cold winds
My spirit sets with the sun
No energy left



I miss friends both old and new. I like being home but at the same time I don't. It's kinda stressful. And I feel like a child again. I can't be independent here I guess. I dunno. Also I don't want to work on my thesis :/
I guess I'll just avoid reality for a bit longer...

This Is Annoying

It just feels too weird
And makes me a bit sad too
I can't relax here

Too much left to do
So I can't feel that relaxed
This is annoying

Not yet December
Yet the world has been covered
In crystal white snow

Silent and peaceful
A feeling like no other
As my breathe turns white

Just a few more weeks
And the stress will disapper
If only a bit

Just feeling stressed and emotional today :/

Oh Well Oh Well Ugh

For some reason I
Don't feel like an adult when
I am back at home

Almost everything
Just seems to get on my nerves
Hate it but can't change

Got some work done but
This day went by very fast
Oh well oh well ugh

Sometimes looking back
Can be almost too painful
Must live in the now

Let's Make Memories

When I am at home
Almost all the walls go down
Like a kid again

One dollar beer nights
Are seriously so fun
Drink the night away

Let's make memories
That leave unforgettable
Impressions and stains

So easily fears
Replace rationality
Need to move forward

Maybe I am too
Forgiving but I don't think
That is a bad thing

Surrounded by a
Sea of beautiful clouds
A beautiful sight

I need to be productive this week! I can do it! Staying positive! Yeah!

Ran into a cat today. So cute. So soft. So much love.

For That I'm Grateful

These days I have been
Just genuinely happy
For that I'm grateful

I'm also grateful
For my plants, friends, family
And for so much more

Even if you say
You don't like my bright red nails
I won't stop painting

The more time we spend
Laughing together, the more
I want time to stop

I have come so far
Where I say with confidence
I do love myself

Tonight I will drink
All of the one dollar beer
Way too excited

Asian Men I Said

Inside of her eyes
The most vivid sunflowers
Were always blooming

Spirits and spinach!
Flawlessly our actions match
Strange but so funny

Without real reason
I have to go through my day
Feeling so tired

What is the extent
Of your experiences?
Asian men I said

Some days beautiful
But others not cute at all
Oscillating me

Why does my heart ache
When the truth is my heart does
Not even exist!!!    #Digimon lol

Some Days Are Just Good

Once in a while
No matter what will happen
Some days are just good

Two times this week I
Have been able to feast on
Thanksgiving bounty

Finally at last!
We had a class where no one
Could say stupid things

It's a good feeling
When you can rediscover
The things you forgot

Only three more days
Until I get to go home
And write more thesis

These past couple days
Have been so hilarious
I have awesome friends

A song or image
Certain phrases or feelings
Brings me to that place

As fast as it came
Like the last few withered leaves
Fall fell to the ground

Got Shit Done Today!

Got shit done today!
Still so much left to do though
But I got some done!

Woke up this morning
Thought the world is beautiful
Angd was so peaceful

Thanksgiving Dinner
Not really but among friends
I am thankful for

Tired so tired
But I'm really happy too
Well that's life for you

On the same level
Maybe meeting you two was
A really good thing

I have ten girlfriends
Everyone is so funny
My friends are so great

Hope You Can Do It

To future Emma:
I'm sorry I'm lazy now
Hope you can do it

Breath quickens, cold sweat
Suddenly you can't see straight
The world slips away

Today I should have
Been really productive but
There is nothing done

I just can't even
God what am I doing now
December come fast

Always tomorrow
I tell myself every day
But now is better

Laughing so hard that
Water bursts out from my mouth
What a funny night

Miss A Lot Of Things

Reading the letter
I couldn't help but snicker
Since it was so cute

Afternoon flew by
But really though, time's too fast
I got nothing done

Massaman curry
Going out like this is fun
Spending time with friends

Miss going on dates
Miss the big city, the lights
Miss a lot of things

One paper down but
A mountain of work remains
But I'm so tired

A drunk Ryota is
Actually so super cute
Ugh I hate feelings (sometimes)

Strange But Okay, Sure

Tumblt addiction
Suddenly time disappears
But I cannot stop

1:06am

Hopefully this won't
Have an unhappy ending
I'm rooting for you?

Suddenly I have
Become everyone's love coach
Strange but okay, sure

It makes me happy
When people say they like me
Helps me keep going

What am I feeling?
Why can't someone just tell me?
That would be so nice

I really miss just
Reading for fun, getting lost
In a different world

A Goal With No End

I take back those times

When I thought of being sick

Don't want that at all

I think it's strong if

You can admit weaknesses 

Then you start to grow

That look on her face

She's radiating sadness

And drowning in sighs

Almost the weekend

But that's not consolation

So much left to do

I try not to forget

Though it sometimes slips my mind

A goal with no end

Just like I need air

I need music to survive

Need music to be

Scarf around her neck

And both hands in her pockets

She walks winter paths

これは好きではないけど何だろうねこれ。気になっているかな？もっといい友達になりたい。最近会いたいと思ったら会える。ただの偶然かわからないけどね。まあ、どうでもいいか。疲れているから寝よう～！

Hope I Can Survive

I think today I'm

Still kinda in a weird place

Don't know what I feel

This weekend will be

Rougher than purgatory 

Hope I can survive

Maybe little things

Don't have any real meaning 

But maybe they do

I know what I want

But I don't know how I am

Going to get it 

Because what I want

Is an intangible want

At least I think so

There's a lot of good

That surrounds the life I live

I'm very thankful

Crystal cycle now

But hey, it's not a full moon!

Not a moon goddess 

I don’t think every little thing that happens in life has a meaning. But I think that all of those little things add up to something big and there’s a meaning in that. 

Today Was A Lot

Certain events that
I thought no longer phased me
Obviously do

But I was so shocked
Because I didn't think I
Would react like that

With my lack of sleep
My period and this shit
Today was a lot

But I guess such things
You have to deal with when you
Become an adult

I don't know if it's because I'm tired or if I just haven't had to encounter images of violence against women like that in a long time, but the clip we watched in class tonight really affected me. I just never thought I would have reacted the way I did. Pretty emotional.

Days Become Colder

Days become colder
And as summertime faded
Memories did too

Staring at this tea
And thinking "this is my life"
Just another night

Oh my genmaicha
I really love drinking tea
All I want to do

So much work to do
Sometimes too overwhelming
But I'm just lazy

Always so worried
That we don't seem to notice
We are living now

An afternoon nap
Just want to sleep forever
Reenter the void

Some memories may
Warm you from the inside but
Some tear you apart

11:51pm

First snow of winter
Wait, this is a bit too soon!
Midwest weather cray

One-one Pocky Day
As usual still single
Forever alone

I can't seem to tell
Same as always probably
Just a bit lonely

But if this was like
I don't think I can do much
I'll just wait it out

One job app is done
Another left to go
Along with school work

Snooowwww ;_;

Hey Body, Not Now!

I feel like I need
To get my life together
I'll start tomorrow

Slowly descending
Into the realm of sickness
Hey body, not now!

Jobs apps and thesis
Really need to work this week
Gotta get it done!

I think I forgot
That there isn't a meaning
To life without love

I want a love that
Will put shame to all fiction
If it does exist

Brisket BBQ

Brisket BBQ
Melt in my mouth, heavenly
I really love food

Did nothing Friday
Didn't do much today too
Becoming lazy

Something about you
Makes me feel comfortable
Little baby bear

Trimmed my bangs today
But maybe now they're too short
But I still look cute

Oh God Last Night Was

Oh god last night was
A lot of fun but crazy
Paying for it now

I'm trying my best
That's all I really can do
Just to keep trying

Squatting Every Day

Emotional drain
These past few days have been tough
Want to be stronger

As I heard her tell
The story of her cousin
Couldn't help but cry

My two imouto
Grown to really like you guys
Let's become closer

The first guy I've meet
Who is weaker than I am
You are still cute though

Times when I am down
I'm glad to be surrounded
By amazing friends

Squatting every day
1, 2, pulse, pulse, up and down
Gonna have cute butt

Am I just lonely?
Or am I interested?
I guess we will see

I cannot help be
Just a little bit jealous
Maybe you are too

A Little Upset

God, I can't even
I just don't know what to say
A little upset

I'm really thankful
For the way I was raised and
The way I have grown

Ladybug Boyfriend

Skyped with friends last night
Overwhelming emotions
Still feel them today

Tired and sickly
I just want to relax please
Senior year is hell

We meet once again
I know you take up my time
Korean dramas

Ladybug boyfriend
We spent the night together
But then you were crushed

My boyfriend 

Left Foot Over Right

Some days I wonder
Falling in love would be nice
But for now just thoughts

Now that I'm thinking
Maybe I've never been struck
By true love's arrow

Left foot over right
Though the path is still unknown
Continue to walk

Sunday afternoon
I should be doing work but
Let's go ice-skating

Stomach is so full
I feel like I will explode
I'm chicken waffle

Was feeling good but
Now I kinda feel like shit
Thank you universe
:/

So many people
I wish I could see right now
Some days are painful

Ice skating!!

Panda Trashcan Drink

Panda trashcan drink
Laughing until 5am
Senior escapades

It is sad to think
That I won't always be by
The ones that I love

I will miss these days
But I am looking forward
To walking to my own path

Grey sky, orange leaves
And a hot cup of black tea
It's a Beatles day

Making closer friends
Still missing those who are far
But well so it goes

Some of my friends who dressed up last night...

11:44pm

All of a sudden

A pang of sadness came through

Left a mark in me

The Person I Am

"I'll never forget
The day that my own mother
Didn't know my face"
;_;

The you in my mind
And the real you that exists
Aren't the same person

As the door opens
And I see the yellow leaves
Life is beautiful

The high that comes with
Having an awesome workout
Is unbeatable

Over these four years
I really have changed a lot
Truly amazing

Love who you are first
Then you can truly start to
Love those around you

I have never felt
This much confidence about
The person I am