Had a Dream Last Night

Had a dream last night
Where I was puling out nails
Deep in my shoulder

Still trying my best
If only it was better
This wouldn't be hard

How is it like this?
Uncontrollable feelings
A sort of sickness

I'm not happy now
This semester or myself?
Something needs to change

Best finest surgeon
Quickly please before it spreads
Come cut me open

Why is it Like This?

Why is it like this?
I'm dying but I'm okay
Daily college life

What is it I want?
I don't know anything now
Constantly drifting

Sliver of a moon
Effortlessly hanging there
Against the dark sky

Quietly he went
Slipped into oblivion
Never to return

Doing Better Now

Doing better now
But still far from being great
Oh well that is life

Hey I'm just kidding
Really hating life right now
Though it's not that bad

Had an Awful Night

Had an awful night
An emotional break down
Is not fun at all

Fifth Day Without Sleep

Fifth day without sleep
But I'll continue to sing
Like I'm not tired

Plans for the future
A long list of things to do
Before my journey

How am I awake?
With so many restless nights
Simply amazing

Fading in and Out

Fading in and out
Here but somewhere else as well
Unstable presence

Scenery changes
Constantly evolving form
My identity

Haven't Gotten Sleep

Haven't gotten sleep
And a long day is ahead
So fucking tired

Looking back again
I have no idea what
I was thinking then

Just want to complain
lkjhygtfrtyuiokl;lkjhgfdghjk
Yeah, first world problems

It's Crazy to Think

It is a bit weird
I have an older sister
But sometimes forget

One day at a time
Just trying to do my best
Can be really hard

It's crazy to think
That in a couple of months
I'll be in Japan

As rain gently falls
She brings the cup to her mouth
And slowly sips tea

Unmotivated

Unmotivated
Just trying to keep it up
Need another break

A Saturday night
Hitler, Marie Antoinette
Made no fucking sense

Sitting in my room
And the unproductiveness
Hit me like a wall

I really have no idea what I'm doing with my life.

Busy Like a Bee

Busy like a bee
No time for shitty haiku
But I'll be back soon

So much has happened
Indy, and brownies as well
So interesting

Uh, Where to Begin?

Uh, where to begin?
Yesterday played some tennis
Did some drinking too

15 page paper
I hope you get written soon
I'll start at some point

Mid semester break
All I want to do right now
Is watch some Netflix

Home-made curry rice
And macha flavored cake too
Fucking delicious

Flirtatious Nature

Don't feel like myself
But then who is my real self?
And what is not real?

So much work to do
Somehow managing I guess?
Hope it all gets done

Flirtatious nature
But anything serious
She cannot handle

Just a Bit Stressed Out

All of these forms here
Are making me lose my mind
Just a bit stressed out

So much to do and
So much to think about now
Just need to get through

It Kept On Growing

It kept on growing
And for some reason I cried
Alone in my room

Interesting weekend
Always goes by too fast though
I feel better now

Without my knowledge
Everything had piled up
But I lied, I knew

Not yet an adult
But way beyond a child
Getting there slowly

So much to do now
Yet no motivation here
Andrew Bird plays on

What is Going On

What is going on
I don't really know right now
A mental breakdown?

Calmly Passing Time

Calmly passing time
She paints her nails on Friday
A sea green color

Suddenly one day
The bitter cold has returned
Red noses and all

With wind comes winter
And without missing a beat
Snow goes on falling

Going to Japan

Going to Japan
And will be there for a year
Hasn't hit me yet

I'm too tired to form real haiku tonight, but I honestly had a great day. 8:30 class cancelled so I got to sleep more, a cute old lady Jazz pianist came and played for my Jazz History class which was just amazing, I had a funny 1:1 with my boss, learned I got accepted to study abroad, had a great time at dinner with friends, got to work out, and yeah. Just a great day :)

Just Too Delicate

Just too delicate
Head is about to explode
Stress stress stress stress stress

Kamikaze birds
Swiftly flying through the sky
Will not return home

Long time no see yeah?
Maybe that's why it's awkward
Knife cutting tension

Dinner Time Laughter

Dinner time laughter
We cannot control ourselves
Oh what a great meal

Recently these days
I predict things that happen
A strange clairvoyance?

The more I think now
Somehow it was so awkward
When you sat by me

Jazz listening log
A love-hate relationship
Why you take so long?

Patiently waiting
If I'm not accepted in
I'll probably cry

What is wrong with you?
So childish,immature
Not the girl I knew

Like a Paper Crane

Like a paper crane
My heart is blown by the wind
One yard to the next

Always an excuse
Others' faults easily seen
Will I look past them?

Irreplaceable
Those feelings that are now gone
Dissolved over time

My feelings jump all over the place; they're unstable. Is this really okay?

But Not Always Bad

Slowly crawling doubts
Come when I least expect it
Widening the hole

Don't know what I want
And some days I'm really scared
But not always bad

Before I know it
Irrational jealousy
Flowing through my veins

In the shining sun
A nice change of of scenery
Playing in the park

A second home here
Safely inside the bubble
But can be hell too

When did I become
(Somehow as the years went by)
So apathetic?

Just Wanted Yogurt

We have come so far
And when I look behind me
I can't see the start

With a jaded sigh
She sits and watches the world
A foggy future

Doesn't seem too hard
Becoming truly happy
Harder than it seems

The time passes by
And I start asking myself
What am I doing

Just wanted yogurt
But no my zipper got stuck
Well thank god for knives

As the rain falls down
Somber but content smile
Spreads across her face

Untouchable world
Something deep inside her grows
That cannot be stopped

Losing My Mind Here

Whoops forgot to post
Yesterday was just crazy
Losing my mind here

Why am I so stressed?
A whirlwind of emotions
Need to persevere

The list never ends
Some days I am really stressed
But things get better

Back and forth it goes
With avid concentration
Table tennis match

Spring Comes in Winter

Spring comes in winter
As sunshine pours through windows
I eat my breakfast

Days are all a blur
How does the time past so fast?
Can't keep up with it

Probably content
But occasionally still
A painful throbbing

Fucking Austria
It is a real town I swear
Let's go there someday

To be honest I still really miss you. We were really close to becoming close friends but then that happened and we started to drift apart. I thought you wanted to be good friends with me. I thought you like me. But now I don't know. I should have been angrier with you and at at time I think I acted like I really was. But honestly I was just sad. Because I didn't want what happened to happened. I didn't want to become distant. I feel at ease around you and like we really could connect. I look back on the times we spend together with fondness. I want to still talk to you and see you, but I don't know if you would do that because you felt the same or because you wouldn't want to hurt me. I think at one point I could have fallen for you, and maybe I did. But now I just want to go back to being friends, even though that might not be possible at all. Because now you are good friends with you and there isn't a place for me. I don't really know what I want at this point. I don't know what I should want. But I find myself longing to talk to you again.