Sore Legs, Tangled Mind

A repeating buzz
Leave me to my weird dreams please!
Early wake up call

Sore legs, tangled mind
Another day passes, yet
Have I really grown

 The things that I want
I hope that I can grab them
With my own two hands


TIGF:
-Falling back asleep after stupid loud grounds keepers waking me up at 7:30
-Food
-Jazz
-Finding old jewelry
-My chipmunk being alive
-Having time to paint my nails

Finally Some Energy!

Walked, cleaned, and laundry
Finally some energy!
I'm hoping it lasts

TIGF:
-Yummy cupcakes
-Blue corn chips
-The smell of oolong tea
-That washing dishes is relaxing
-Texts from my brother
-Finding my old Catcher in the Rye book
-My mom for driving me to get tampons
-Finally having some energy

Dahlia Flowers

Dahlia flowers
Buzzing bugs and wildlife
My soul feels refreshed

Nature is magic
Seriously when I'm there
A weight is lifted

TIGF:
-Pretty flowers
-Nature walks
-Sun screen
-Yummy Vietnamese food
-That my chipmunk is still alive
-OLYMPICS
-For finally having a good day

I'm Reaching the Point

I'm reaching the point
Where opening up seems hard
With anybody

Sometimes it seems like
You just want to hear your voice
So I'll just listen

Hung out with a friend
And although the time was well
It was straining too

Can't express with words
Such deep rooted emotions
Maybe for the best

Seriously, I don't understand it. Do people just see me as someone easy to talk to? Easy to open up to? Or just a blob, something vacant they can talk to? Reveal all that built up flow of words. Or maybe I'm not aggressive enough to hold my ground. To not stop you from interrupting me or from saying anything at all. Maybe it's not necessarily a bad thing, that when I talk to most people 80-90% of the conversation is them. Maybe it's a good thing that people can talk to me. But when that happens my thoughts start to turn inward and gradually become harder to express, to put into words. So that when it is my turn to talk, or someone asks me something, I can't adequately respond. Some days I feel like I'm drifting further and further away...I don't know...maybe I'm just tired. I wish the good days would start to outweigh the mediocre or not so good ones though...

Anywayyyy Today I'm Grateful For:
-When I push myself
-Pressing flowers
-Afternoon rain
-Seeing old friends
-Eating yummy food
-Sleep

I think I'm having one of those I'm not so found of people moments. Ms. Bad Mood today...I get by on knowing this will pass.

Why Am I Tired?

Why am I tired?
I eat right, sleep, exercise
This doesn't make sense

Big, huge Tokyo
An overwhelming labyrinth
It might kill my soul (still excited to go though!)

My old hometown friends
Is that too strong a word now?
What happened to us?

Occupied Japan
A ragged rummage sale plate
Was made long ago

TIGF:
-Used book stores
-Rummage sales
-Playing cribbage with the neighbor
-Watching Project Runway with my mom
-Food stamps
-Nice toilet paper
-Thunder storms (though they could last longer)
-My dad for always paying
-Cute sweaters
-Getting visa stuff finally

Left My House Today

Left my house today
Wow, what a sad thing to note
Still trying my best

First Willow viewing
A boring and weird movie
And now I'm tired

Keep pushing myself
Because I am more than this
I hope I don't break

The person I need
Will help me grow for the better
And stay by my side
(among other things haha)

TIGF:
-Not giving up even when I have no motivation to run
-My friend's animals
-Saving that moth from being killed
-Yummy cereal
-BBQ chicken sandwiches
-Cat pictures online (especially when they have Nick Cage's face)
-My plants
-My neighbor

Chipmunk Acquaintance

Chipmunk acquaintance
Hiding from the heat above
I've missed feeding you

Another day gone
There wasn't much worth notice
Still fighting uphill

Waiting for Japan
But if I'm being honest
The meaning has changed

Healthy, lean, and fit
My goal is to someday have
That perfect body

Weeks without a word
But now a sudden message?
Just let me forget

TIGF:
-My youth
-That I haven't completely given up yet
-Texting friends
-Libraries
-Tea
-Bagels
-Internet
-Quick read books
-My great brother for letting me use his Netflix and for still paying for it even though he doesn't use it

An Unsure Future

An unsure future
What is it I really want?
Still figuring out

Actually I know
Things I want in the future
Unattainable

Restless thoughts and mind
Wanting to be calm and cool
Wanting to evolve

PMSing sucks
I should go to a doctor
To figure it out

Sometimes I walk down
That dark path always within 
My slight depression

Trying to be strong
Trying to fight those compulsions
Wanting happiness

lol what's up with those white lines?
also i forgot my TIGF :(

Saw Batman Today

Saw Batman today
Other than that feeling blah
Need to get on track

TIGFT:
-Cloudy days
-Cupcakes and strawberries
-Everything bagels
-Movies

Another Styx Show

Another Styx show
Get to hang with a rock star
It never gets old

TIGFT:
-Friends I don't see very often
-Going to my 4th Styx concert this summer
-Sheep
-Books
-Sleep

A Short Vacation

A short vacation
Swimming, hiking, and Styx show
Nice to be home though

Acted like a brat
I wish I could say sorry
Wish I was mature

When was the last time
We had a sincere catch up?
Made me cry today

Things I'm Grateful for Today:
-Michigan cherries
-Road trips
-My dad for spoiling me
-My mom for taking care of me
-Jogging
-My plants surviving the heat
-My old Zune
-Local eateries
-That coming home feeling

Taking things one step at a time here. Though no matter which direction I'm going, I just hope that I don't end up going backwards.
I need to remind myself that things take time.

A Helpless Feeling

A helpless feeling
Super bad PMSing?
Ugh emotions ugh

Things I'm Grateful for Today:
-Good stories
-Calming down
-Netflix

Trying to Contain

Trying to contain
Unreasonable remarks
That swell with anger

Still a far way from
The person I want to be
Though I won't stop trying

Things I'm Grateful for Today:
-Books/Libraries
-Netflix
-Free food
-Tai Chi
-My mom
-Aloe drink
-Tea
-Air conditioning

Got a Suitcase Now

Got a suitcase now
And less than two months remain
It doesn't seem real

Things I'm Grateful For Today:
-Tai Chi
-Thai food
-Selling old clothes
-Evening walks
-Nail polish
-Interesting dreams
-Korean television

Went to a Wedding

Went to a wedding
Heart-warming love filled glances
Seems foreign to me

Things I'm Grateful for Today:
-Bike rides
-Thunder storms
-Dancing with relatives
-Getting muscles
-Ice cream

It's so weird. I used to be super great friends with a lot of different people, but now I don't even talk to them. Not out of hatred or dislike or anything, we've just drifted I guess. It's almost as if I was a different person back then. I don't really feel anything towards them now. Is that normal? lol.

Oh Soba Noodles

Oh soba noodles
Jesus Christ so delicious
Picture perfect meal


Things I'm Grateful About Today:
-Thrifting with old friends
-Pizza shirt
-My backyard
-New mug
-Tea
-Soba noodles
-Jazz
-Feeling great after a run

Sometimes I get the urge to write about something so I do:

For her they were more than just liquid holders. Each mug she collected held a special place in her heart, which may sound silly, but the mugs she had were meaningful. Occasionally while browsing through thrift and second hand shops specific mugs would catch her attention. Sure there were mugs that looked appealing and that she liked. The mugs she bought from such places, however, were never those types of mugs. She would only buy the mugs that instantly stood out to her, that sweetly called her name. Why these mugs were so desirable to her she did not know. The innate qualities that made those special mugs so different from ordinary mugs was something that was indiscernible to the eye. Yet nonetheless, such mugs always caught her attention. It was not only the aura of these mugs that distinguished them from others, but the feeling they created when used. Whether they were used for tea, coffee, or juice, these mugs would create a peaceful, content, yet subtlety exciting feeling within her very being each time she drank from them. Sometimes such feelings were stronger than other times, yet the feeling was always present. For some unknown reason she had a connection with those types of mugs. A connection that she alone knew of.   

Dry Grass Drenched in Orange

No matter how hard
I do my best day by day
Like I always do

Dry grass drenched in orange
Baby bunnies scuttling
Evening stroll with mom

Today I'm Thankful For:
-Eye doctors
-My dad
-My mom
-Smoothies
-Sandwiches

Though Not Much is New

I haven't been busy but
I kept forgetting haiku
Though not much is new

On some days it takes
More effort than usual
Not to be depressed

I am so used to
Some people bailing on plans
Not even bothered

But anyway, things that made me happy today:
-Birds in my backyard
-Ice cream
-Music
-Finished a book

The Merciless Sun

The merciless sun
Unleashed its horrible heat for days
Time to cool down now

Nothing much to say
Uneventful but okay
Made pad thai today

A Hike in the Woods

Weeks keep going by
Though the lines between them fade
I don't really mind

A hike in the woods
My sweat covered collarbone
Reflects the sun's rays